.Trust. Learn. Grow. Live.

Give me chills, and give me them again

2012-01-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

Overwhelmed: 10 min waste of time

2012-01-25T10:26:00.003-07:00

I'm having one of those days where you think of everything at the same time that you need to get done within your life or within the next two years and you start freaking out and wondering how the heck in the world you're going to manage. Then, as you're sitting in your health for teachers class they are going over how to write lessons plans and your heart starts to tense up and you have no idea how you are going to accomplish writing 300 or more lesson plans by the time you are out of the program, which starts in the fall. Then you end up crying buckets and buckets on the way of home from school and calling your poor father who has to listen to you blabber about how many students loans you have, before you are entering marriage, how many years you have wasted on schooling when you had no idea what you wanted to do and now you're going to school on whim which you thought was an impression from the spirit but you're not sure anymore, because everyone who is around you in your classes seems more qualified or more into it. While you spent all of high school doing nothing, and everything that wasn't studying so you didn't get to go to the school you wanted and now you don't want to spend the time trying to get there any more because it wouldn't be worth the time and the energy. But then you realize that you are a lazy butt girl who doesn't know what she wants and has been spoiled for her whole life and therefore doesn't know how to take care of herself or others around her. Then someone says that you are role model when that is the last thing you are, because of all the horrible mistakes you have made which you are still dealing with and they still effect other people. Then you realize that you are so unorganized that you can't remember what assignment is due and you don't want to take the time to organize yourself but would rather spend 10 minutes of your precious day blogging about everything and anything that you can't change.

I need motivation

2012-01-16T16:20:00.001-07:00

for school, and homework and life. Any suggestions?

A Sad Day Thoughts

2012-01-02T09:40:00.002-07:00

I'm going to miss my family here in Colorado; my Dad, brother and Xan... even with phone and emails and letters it's still hard to say goodbye.

Understanding the simplicity

2011-12-31T17:59:00.003-07:00

I find it odd and a little bit sad that I don't give enough time to contemplate how great my life is in general. Of course there are days when my life would suggest otherwise, but in the "big picture", the life retrospect, my life is really good. It has been a ground for self growth, new developing self worth, and a place where I am becoming who I want to be and who the Lord wants me to be.

I have been blessed with an amazing man in my life. A man who makes me feel utterly fantastic about myself on a daily basis. He brings along with his 80's inspired hair, handsome smile, and light sense of humor a consistent feeling of love inside my heart. He has the magic of making me feel like I could conquer the world, I could pass any test, and I could move on from anything that may be a determent in my life or holding me back from my full potential. Call it rose colored glasses or the phase of engagement...but I think that even after 2 years of dating, and still feeling like this more than not, I'm putting my foot down and saying that's a good thing and something we will never lose. I believe, but quite actually know I have found true love and it's amazing that it will be able to last throughout eternity, starting April 28, 2012 after 10 am!

Another thing, my family is great. My dad is one of my best friends, a confidant, and just an amazing man who has bounced back from a lot of things in life, hard things, that continues to have a positive outlook and always looking for ways to serve those around him. My stepmom Xan is a gem also. I'll be honest that at first we may not have gotten along, I was a whole version of the Lindsey Lohan's "Parent Trap" and I feel terrible for being such a brat when I was younger to her. She genuinely cares about me, my brother, and of course, my father and is a dear friend to me now and will continue to be so as our lives gain in number. My brother is a teenager looking for some responsibility, but is sometimes too lazy to reach up his hand and grab it. He is the most intelligent guy I know but on occasion doesn't see it that way and give himself the short end of the stick. He teaches me things every time I see him, and he is always aware of my feelings and is constantly asking whether I am ok with him going somewhere with his friend which will leave me alone for awhile...he asks more than twice sometimes, just to make sure. My mother the sweetheart, is the closest to heaven I can get on this earth, besides going to the temple. She is very in tune with the spirit of a child. She is very naive in nature (descriptive in a good way) she sees the world through the eyes of child with no real prejudices against others, or people in general.

I have reason to believe that I am beautiful, inside and out, just by looking in the mirror. I hope that doesn't sound conceited but I have a right to believe I am beautiful. I love my hair when it works for me, and I love the different colors within it. I love my smile and even the scrunching of my nose when I'm smiling for real or laughing really hard. I love my toes and the abilities they have from being double jointed, along with my fingers still being able to play the piano after taking a beating from a few accidents resulting in a few ER visits. I love my voice, I believe I have been blessed with that talent and have been given numerous occasions and opportunities to share it with people. I feel that is one way that I can contribute to the work of the Lord, through my voice. If I am in the right spirit than the spirit will be in my voice. I learned that in Nauvoo. I love my eyes and I love that Matt has deemed them as Starburst eyes. I love that I have a healthy body, love healthy food, and can read!! I love to read and learn things about the world and I am thankful that I have been blessed with a body and sound mind that is able to do so.

I guess this blog post turned into a small thankfulness to God and for this wonderful year where I have learned so much about myself. I know that 2012 is going to bring hard times, trying times, growing times, happy times, lovely times, loving times, joyous times, and times that will enable me to continue to become closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They are the reasons for the immense blessings that I have in my life, of which I have only spoke small of. They have blessed me more than I could ever comprehend.

If we only take a moment and contemplate everything good we have in our lives, we gain a new understanding of the simplicity in the moments that take our lives, which condense them down into building blocks for a better future and a continuing adventure aided by friends and family.

Learning. Love. It

2011-12-30T12:11:00.005-07:00

I find it interesting how different people live their lives. The differences in religion, daily rituals, eating, cooking, cleaning, and spending their time when they are off of work. I watched a documentary called, "A day in the life" which has countless numbers of videos shot by people all around the world on one day, July 24, 2010. It shows what different people do, during the same hours that I now typing on this blog.
I learned this about people, the way they live is much different from the way I live.
My usual day is as follows (apart from visiting my dad in Colorado at this time):

Wake up between the hours of 7:00am - 9:00am
Get ready for the day and breakfast usually takes 30 mins
Go and workout at Planet Fitness for 1 hr
Come home and wash my body
Text people and see what they are doing
Lounge, blog, facebook, movies
See Matt hopefully in the day
Go to bed

These people in this documentary showed me that I am ignorant about what goes on in the world. There are people up at 3 in the morning doing things I never would have thought of. I like documentaries, I love learning about the world, I love learning.
I would be a happy woman if I could be a student for the rest of my days, audit all the classes, and just learn!
That was the underlying reason I wrote this post, not incredibly exciting by any means but I love to read, and learn about things in the world. Love it!

How is it...

2011-12-28T11:15:00.002-07:00

-That the sun consistently stays up in the universe providing heat continually
-That coffee and tea are bad for you, but good for you at the same time
-That nicotine has such a hold on a person who is addicted
-That Sherlock Holmes is so attractive because of how smart he is
-That taking the time to play COD: Black ops with your father, it becomes fun
-That air drying your hair brings a feeling of being free
-That I can miss one person so much even when they are only less than 500 miles away...sigh

A Year in Review

2011-12-23T19:10:00.001-07:00

Before the whole Christmas and New Years celebrations take over my life, in a good way, I would like to take a look back at my year or at least the things I remember in this year. Sadly I don't have many pictures to accompany what has happened but we will make do with what I have and for extensive purposes this is for me to look at what I've done and accomplished this year and be proud of it.

If you'd like to read, do it. :)

January - Happily Matt and I got back together after a two month hiatus with our relationship and I couldn't have been more happy. That January was when I knew I wanted to marry him and there was no one else for me in this world that could create the amount of happiness he gives me. I'm glad we came back to each other.

February - A plethora of events happened as does all February's brings. Especially surrounding loved ones, chocolate, and girls "feel good about yourself" parties.

Two years in a row I have asked Matt to the Institute date dance in February which is a dinner and dancing to a live 20 pieces Jazz band. We were dancing up the floor and make up our own steps as we went, stealing a couple kisses here and there and just enjoying the company of two crazy people, crazy enough to fall in love with each other.

The hunger banquet where the lowest class, (Matt and I) got fed more than the upper class which was pizza and soft drink. I'll go with the tortilla and rice if you don't mind. Very eye opening though.

Valentine's Day this year I had to work, all day, my boss hated me anyway so I was expecting it. Matt was trying to be super suave and and have flowers delivered to my house before I set out to work...no go. The flowers didn't end up showing till 8:30 at night, so a little disgruntled Matt brought them to my work (the sweetheart) and waited for me while I finished cleaning up. What both of us learned this day, if you want it done right, do it yourself.

A "feel good about yourself" night with the girls. We had facials, watched "Bride Wars", painted nails, got dolled up took more than our fair share of pictures, and just enjoyed being girls. I seriously don't know what I would do without these girls. They are the cream of the crop and know the "weird" me.

March - Every year during Spring Break I usually head to my Dad's in Colorado which is always a blast, plus the Festival of Colors which is only truly fun the first time.

Here is the burger, I made up myself. It was delectable, tasty, different, and yes that is Peanut Butter.

Festival of Colors, of course, colorful. Purples snot for 2 days, best part.

April- I turned 22, the end of the semester, April fools game/prank, Backyard camping and preparing for serving a mission in Nauvoo, Illinois as a performing missionary.

Ashleigh warned me, then stole my car (I used to have a problem with leaving the keys to my car in the door, not anymore) which started a 4 hour prank-a-thon which ended up in both cars covered in either window chalk or....

....selophane wrap and boxes included (this was my revenge for her stealing my car, if you want the full post which includes the ins and outs of the daily prankage you can click HERE)

Here is Matt and I at our best...oh shoot that's the wrong picture! Oh well...as you can see can be...odd. This is at my 22nd sushi birthday dinner with Matt, Laurie and her boy, Paul and his girl at the time (I hope they get back together, *hint hint*), we indulged in fried sushi, and amazing, can I say fantastic? chocolate, chocolate cake. Plus we manage to take super duper picture than I now cherish (the one above I might add)

Whoever said you couldn't go camping outside the woodland area? If anyone did, they were crazy!
As you can see here our humble backyardigan abode'

Here is the bums
(From left to right) Rauni, Shelby, Ashleigh
These bums and I stayed up till 3am playing clue, screaming at dogs rubbing up against the tent and talking about who knows what, whilst keeping our bums warm.

May - August ...Seeing as so many things happened between the months of May and August in the same place, I will smoosh them all together in one mass 4 month picture explosion, be wary I warned you. My 4 months of the summer were spent in the best place I had yet to spend my life; Nauvoo, Illinois where I had the opportunity to perform as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a blast that changed my life forever, it changed the way I look at myself, how I look at life, and more importantly how I can help those around me to see the beauty inside themselves.

The beginning of the best summer of my life

Before we knew each other, who knew by the end of the summer we would be sisters in word, deed, and heart

My first companion; such a doll, talented as anyone will ever get out

After Carthage, all eyes red, swollen, spirits lifted

Dinosaur hair day

The cutest girls to cross through Nauvoo, followed us everywhere
so naturally I needed a picture with them

Reaction to lightning storm, a HTBT (Had-to-be-there) moment for sure

Nauvoo beauties

My second companion, deary me we were so alike it was scary, but made for so much fun!
I love her bunches and she changed my life in more ways than she'll ever know
I am eternally grateful for her, her testimony, and the parents who raised her so well

The night the rest of the world saw the 7th and final installation of Harry Potter
We correlated it to the gospel instead, while fighting on our kitchen table,
while keeping our dignity

The Nauvoo Pageant

Just Plain Anna Amanda, hmmm I miss it

The prettiest temple this side of the Salt Lake "bookend" temple

On the band wagon looking tired and tired....it was the end of the summer

A Cast of JPAA (Just Plain Anna Amanda) I learned more about myself playing this part of a young girl, than I could in a thousand years of schooling.

Most beautiful and talented lady I have ever had the opportunity to meet in this life

My companion was and is the bomb, I love her dearly

Signing our names in the house we love so dearly

As we were about to walk towards our families after a long day of traveling home...no longer to be missionaries

September - Lots of Hiking.

Grrr....I'm a bear!!! Not really

We thought this was the lake everyone was talking about, turned out not to be...but it gave an awesome field shot as you can see here

Matt and I at the top of Mt. Timpanogus loving life

All four of us at the top of Mt. Timpanogus
From the left: (Andrew, Matt, Myself, Ashleigh)

October - Halloween Fun (only one picture)

Matt was a type of steampunk futuristic pirate, I was a red crayon

November - This is the month where I got engaged to the love of my life and the sweetheart that I love dearly.

Here are some pictures of when he proposed to me and if you would like to read the whole story.....click HERE

But here's a little "spoiler:

"I got out of my Intro to Elementary Education class early and texted Matt that he could meet me at my house anytime. He was there before I got home and once I did we headed inside to chill for a bit before heading to the dance. We were talking, kissing, and saying “I love you” on the couch for about 20 mins ....."

"...I start walking up towards him and knew what was coming then and there. He said, “ Brianna, I have loved the time we have had to spend with each other and the time we have gotten to know each other, I know now ..."The beautiful ring, dang he spoils me

December - Wedding Dress shopping, Christmas Caroling...and the end of the year which hasn't happened yet.

NOT the dress I'm getting, but tried on

Going to see Matt as Young Ebenezer Scrooge at HCTO! He did frankly, amazing

********************************************************
If you made it this far you are definitely my friend and I love you, thanks for being apart of my life

Here's to a wonderful year that I experienced with so many people, so many experiences and the happiness that 2011 was a year of growth, sadness, happiness, joy and love. 2012 can only bring more happiness and joy and growth, plus a new husband!!! I cannot wait for this coming year to bring new experiences and wonders. Love this life.

The First Noel: my favorite

2011-12-15T10:17:00.004-07:00

I hope to one day be apart of this amazing choir, but now I will but listen and enjoy the spirit that fills my home when I do listen to them.
Close your eyes, and just let the music fill your soul with joy for the birth of the man who has always carried our sorrows, who is a friend, our brother and the one man who was born in the humblest of circumstances, but brought about the most good in human history.
I'm grateful for the fact that I have this knowledge and to some degree know him personally. I hope that through the years of my life that relationship will blossom into one just like brother and sister, friend and confidant.

Merry Christmas
and thank God everyday for Music

My mind is odd. My mind is weird.

2011-12-14T10:13:00.002-07:00

My dreams are filled with worries that I didn't know I was worried about, or are filled with things I thought I was done worrying about but if they are sticky enough to fill my dreams then it seems they haven't been dealt with properly or needing to be dealt with in the form of an out-of-the-ordinary dream or nightmare.

My dreams could be box office hits, if only I remembered every detail

Moments that Matter Most

2011-12-13T09:32:00.002-07:00

I'll be honest I can never get through this video without bawling like a little kid who's scraped their knee. It touches me somewhere deep inside every time I watch it. So whenever you're having a bad day, a feeling of unfulfilled day, a hard day, a challenging time, remember the moments that matter most.

Your First Kiss
Your First Crush
Your First (able to remember) Birthday
How it feels to cry things out
Your love for your friends
Your love for you family
The falling snow
The ability to worship as we please
Healthy Foods
Honesty
Love
Thanksgiving Dinner with Family
Laughing till your stomach aches
A baby's smile
A hug from a long lost friend
Doing what is right
Eating donuts while setting up the Christmas Tree
...are but a few of my Matter Mosts...

"We would do well to slow down a little, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes and focus on the things that truly matter most. Strength comes not from frantic activity, but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light..."

"...it comes from paying attention to the Divine things That Matter Most..."

"Diligently doing the things that Matter Most will lead us to the Savior of the World."

Sometimes the hard is what makes us grow

2011-12-12T17:41:00.002-07:00

I've had a realization, well actually it's been a thought that i've been thinking about quite frequently these past couple months. My thought is this: Why does God give such hardships, temptations, trials to those who are keeping the gospel commandments as best they can. Those who are stalwart members of the church and even if the person isn't a member of my faith they are hit with very real and hard situations that sometimes seem so overwhelming that only brings one to tears or to their knees.

Why would a God let that happen. I have come up with an answer.

We have these moments, these trials where we feel like we can't keep going but we tend to forget there is something around the bend that will either bless us emotionally, physically, or spiritually. There is always a lesson to be learned when we experience the "growing pains" of mortal life. We have these moments where everything seems to be falling at our feet because we have yet to fall to the Savior's.

Through these recent months I hadn't come to terms with that thought: We literally can't do anything, fix anything, or accomplish anything to the fullest without a Savior. That's why he died! He died for me, he died for you. His death is the fundamental reason I know I am Child of God and have the ability to get past any trial if I but my trust in Him and never look back. Only refer to the past to learn from not to live in. That's been my block, my wall, not trusting in the Lord by relying on my own merits and abilities to get me past mistakes, down moments, failings, and wantings. He was only waiting for me to take a step of faith towards Him and let Him use the atonement in my life.
The Atonement is amazing, real, and the most fantastic thing that has happened in recent history. If it can be in the history books I consider it recent. :)

I'm grateful for my Savior and for the month long ability to think of and ponder about His birth, His mission, His life, His death, and His resurrection.

I am grateful...

2011-12-06T10:39:00.003-07:00

for Matt Call, and the love he has for me
He is amazing and I'm so lucky to to have him in my life
So, so very lucky. I don't know how I got to be this lucky,
life will be amazing, hard times, but growing with him will be easier than growing alone,
holy josephat!!! I love that guy :)
for LDC, the people within, the music sung and the spirit that is felt everyday
for my mother and her sweet heart for those all around her and the smile she keeps
for my friends, even ones where our paths haven't crossed for an amount of time, we still come back together as though nothing happened, we unknowingly pick up where we left off
for frozen yogurt, can I say mmmm
for the Christmas season and my journal for writing down thoughts
for love, for food, for happiness, for everything I've been blessed with
for getting a knock in the head from my heavenly father every once in awhile, reminding how blessed I actually am
for life.

sometimes I forget....

2011-12-04T12:52:00.002-07:00

"I am a daughter of Heavenly Father who loves me, I have faith in His eternal plan, which centers on Jesus Christ My Savior, who gave his life for me"

In life...that is all that matters. To live is to love, to love is to live.

Odd feeling

2011-11-30T13:37:00.002-07:00

I'm in an odd stage of life. I feel disconnected from two groups of my life which I have grown so fond of but now purposely or un-purposely I have been booted from both.

One Group is that of the single life, the other marriage-dom. I'm in the middle, in limbo, swimming in the equivalent of the spirit world after someone dies.

I feel odd, I feel weird.

My fiance' is in "A Christmas Carol" at the Hale Center theater where he has had rehearsal every night for the past month...so the only times I see him are late at night when I'm barely coherent.

Myself is not doing too hot, I keep making these dang-nab-it same mistakes that leave me hating myself and forgetting all the Joy that I should be feeling at this time in my life. The sad thing is that these emotions of hatred towards myself, I bring upon myself. I practically fling it across the room which leaves me wondering, "What the heck just happened?" "Why am I feeling like THIS again?" "Again! Really Brianna, my gosh would you just grow and be ...grown up?"

I feel down on myself, and keep rolling down into muddy piles or egg stricken shirts that keep having to be thrown in the washer...my conscious keeps reminding me that even your best shirt can only be washed so many times before it starts fraying at the edges and falling apart...leaving holes in the shirt from mistakes and lost hours of self pity and grief.

Wedding Plans

2011-11-22T10:38:00.003-07:00

I don't even know where to start...

Do you think about the reception place,
the ring ceremony after the temple,
the dancing,
the food,
the bridesmaid dresses,
the tuxes for the men,
getting everyone from everywhere to Utah in April,
making that money,
not going into debt,
buying a dress,
picking a hairstyle,
buying shoes,
designing a cake,
learn a song to sing,
honeymoon details,
money, money, money,
marriage license,
reception activities,
wedding flowers,
wedding song,
wedding food,
lunch-in,
taking engagement photos,
invitations 200+,
picking wedding colors,
and amongst other things making it 5 months without losing my mind,
Thinking of things I Need
Thinking of things I want but don't need
Thinking of things that would be nice to have but probably won't
Keeping everybody happy
and restraining myself from taking the drive-thru marriage in Vegas...

but really what matters is that if at the end of the day I am married to Matt Call than everything went perfect, whether or not the dress looked right, the food was tacky, the cake was a disaster, and anything else that could happen. As long as he is there with me and has a ring on his finger and I can drive away with him and start our new life, everything will be fine....

Regardless of the sappy little interlude, I still have to plan.
Boy o Boy do I have to Plan

Is it Kosher to be this happy?

2011-11-14T17:42:00.003-07:00

Is it possible to be THIS in love with someone?

Is it possible to not be able to get anything done because all you think about is that person?
It is fair that only the girl gets a constant reminder of the bond the two people now share?
Is it possibly that I can make it for 5 months without being married to this man?
Is it possible not to feel like shouting from the rooftops that I'm engaged at every moment of every day?
Is it ok that I feel completely selfish for the moment and all I want to talk about is him and the proposal?
Is it fine and dandy that 5 months is almost half a year too long?
Is it fine that I am putting myself through this "agony" (dramatic moment) because I didn't want to get married during the school year, stupid much.
Is it possible that I found someone that I will be head over heels in love with, cherish, enjoy my company with, learn from, grow from and can't enough of for the the remainder of my life?
Love is great. Engagement is great. It comes when it is supposed to and I'm glad it came now in my life.

Engaged? why yes!!!

2011-11-12T00:20:00.003-07:00

I'm engaged!!!!! To Matthew Anson Call and I couldn't be happier!!! :)

Here's the Story in my words:

I got out of my Intro to Elementary Education class early and texted Matt that he could meet me at my house anytime. He was there before I got home and once I did we headed inside to chill for a bit before heading to the dance. We were talking, kissing, and saying “I love you” on the couch for about 20 mins before I finally decided that we should go to the dance. At one point I was holding his hands and they were super sweaty for some reason and then he got a call from his work friend Nick and scurried off really fast to talk to him.

As we were driving to the dance Matt was showing me this gorgeous Christmas song that I played at least 4 times before we got there. Hand in hand we walked in and gave them our tickets. We walked into the gym and saw a miniature golf place and a huge blow up obstacle course and we decided to try it out. I beat him both times and he said I cheated because I ended up jumping instead of sliding down at the end, oops. But no one told what I was supposed to do.

After we were done Matt grabbed his jacket and we headed to the dance floor to start doing some dancing. We danced hard and soon saw Cameron Smiley and Cami Johnson (who work together) and we danced with them for a bit. During one of the songs Matt started saying that his music had gotten onto I-tunes and that people had been purchasing them around this area. I was slightly taken back that he hadn’t told me but was ecstatic all the same, especially seeing as when the song that was playing ending suddenly his song, “come here” which was written about me started playing.

I freaked out, I was saying things like, “oh my gosh it’s your song” “How did they get it” “people are buying it!!!” “This is so cool’ We partied it up with me putting him in turns and he doing the same. Half way through the song though he turns to me and says, “I’m going to go get a drink..” I was sad but he walked away and I continued to dance with Cameron and Cami. Then, I hear his voice over the PA system saying, “ Sorry everyone I just need to take a moment, I have written this song for a girl and would like to invite her up to the front because I have something to ask of her…”

I start walking up towards him and knew what was coming then and there. He said, “ Brianna, I have loved the time we have had to spend with each other and the time we have gotten to know each other, I know now that I want to spend the rest of this life and the rest of eternity with you as my wife, Brianna Jean Pettit, will you Marry Me?” I waited for a moment and couldn’t think of anything else to say besides, “Yes” at the top of my lungs and then grab him around the neck and kiss him good while the crowd cheered, hooted, and a hollered. The DJ then put on a slow song and we and the rest of the 250 or so people started dancing. All I saw in the moment was him and I until Alli and a few girls from choir came and lifted me in a huge hug and saying how excited they were for me.

Matt and I decided that we would leave then and go show people the ring and such.

Thanksfulness Continuation 2

2011-11-11T16:14:00.004-07:00

I am thankful for being able to observe in a classroom for my hours where the teacher lets me participate with the class.

I am thankful for being given the opportunity to read, "Horton Hatches the Egg" and be reminded that no matter the struggle we face that as long as there is persistence, trust in our own abilities (and with the help of the Lord's) we can accomplish anything, even if it is receiving a baby elephant bird.

I am thankful for sweet little 8 year old's that don't have preconceived notions about me or about their classmates, they are there to learn and to grow. I am thankful for those small little compliments I receive from Jazlyn about what I wear every week, even if I look horrid and she only compliments me on my necklace. I am thankful for Alicia who made my day by shouting that I was awesome as I walked out to go to "big kid" school. I am thankful for Mrs. Cannon giving me opportunities in that classroom every week that will not go to waste but prepare me, in advance for the future when I have my own 2nd grade classroom. :)

I am thankful for the students who were performing a psychology assessment and handing out free milk and cookies for just spending a moment of my time letting them take a portrait picture of me. Milk and cookies on a cold day, awesome.

I am thankful that my math teacher made a big deal out of 11/11/11 11:11:11 (even seconds) and stopped class for that moment so we all could make a wish.

I am thankful that I was able to in those 60 seconds, make 4 distinct wishes, that are now written down that I believe will come true.

I am thankful I get another round of wishing at 11/11/11 11:11 pm !

I am thankful that lots of people will think I'm crazy for doing this and that the other half of people will be doing it right along with me. It's ok to be child-like in moments like this.

I am thankful for a surprise letter on facebook from a friend that I had thought I had lost contact with, that I had thought i'd lost her as a friend. I am grateful to God, to her, for trusting me with everything she has gone through. I am thankful, and always will be, that she is my friend.

I am thankful for a date dance tonight so that I can boogie hard, and sleep awesome tonight with dreams of zombies and other things :)

Thankfulness days starting now...

2011-11-09T15:24:00.003-07:00

I wanted to jump on the bandwagon of being thankful, seriously thankful for the remainder of time before Thanksgiving. So, today (and it's only 3:30pm in the afternoon) I have had numerous reasons to be thankful for, some being:

I am the most thankful for Matthew Call and the sincere love that he has for me, his patience, his bounce back rate, and just loving me for me. He is the mortar to my broken life pot pieces and he makes me whole. I don't have any idea where, who, or what I would be doing with my life without him.

I am thankful for my ASL teacher who may be a little over the top at times but her jokes started the brightening of my day and I wish I could express that verbally because signing wouldn't give it justice.

I am thankful for my math homework today, I was stuck on a hard problem for 12 minutes, (yes I counted) and once I had finished I realized that the problem had a part B, same stuff, different numbers. I was on the verge of tears but then instead of taking 12 minutes it took a measly 30 seconds. Tender little mercy.

I am thankful for the international students who were passing out BRIGHT PINK cotton candy while I was walking to math class. I am also grateful for the guy who walked out of my classroom from the previous class and only smiled when I took a huge bite of my cotton candy while exclaming with a "chomp" like sound out loud.
I am thankful for the middle aged woman in my math class that I have the opportunity to sit by and she saying that I was a math wiz, boosted my ego for a slight second :)

I am thankful for my dear cousin Shelby for singing, "His Hands" in LDC today and bringing the spirit to my soul. She reminded me, through the help of the song, that my heavenly father does love me no matter the mistakes I make.

I am thankful for the sunshine to bask in while I watch 13 going on 30 because I had all my homework done and could relax in the quietness of my house.

I am thankful for washing dishes, do you know how therapeutic that is? Man! No wonder I want a huge family, I can make huge dinners and than spend an hour, to myself, thinking washing the dishes. It may sound weird to you...but it is quite magical to me.

I'm thankful for today November 9,2011 at 3:32pm. I love today, and my goodness I'm grateful for it.

:)

2011-11-06T18:02:00.004-07:00

I'm excited, anxious, anticipating, lively, hoping, waiting...in a good way

Life sometimes goes too smoothly to be believable.
Life is sometimes so exciting that you can't stay in one spot for longer than a minute.
Life is sometimes wonderful, but keeps you guessing what's around the next corner.
God knows what will make you happy.
He places people in your life that will change it for the better.
He gives you opportunities to grow, even if it stretches you a bit.
He gives us love.
He gives us second chances.
He helps write each individual love story.
He helps life be worth while.

There is someone watching out for my happiness that I cannot see, but he loves me.

Thought for a moment: A Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary Weeks

2011-10-29T14:37:00.005-07:00

"Heartache is a gift God has given us to know that we need him by our side to enable us to feel incomprehensible joy"

If we all wrote our own signs, we would be more compassionate towards one another..

My Dad

2011-10-18T13:01:00.004-07:00

I just realized how much I love my father
He. Is. Amazing.He has cared about me for my entire life and in more moments than one I have taken advantage of him, whether it was asking for money, or not saying thank you when he did something nice.

I love him dearly and I'm so glad that he is in my life even if we are a couple hundred miles apart.
I am glad that there is a way for me to talk with him each day and to be able to express our joys, our frustrations, and our irritants to each other without the feeling of judgment from the other person.
He is ...there isn't even a word to express how much I love and revere that man.
He is exceptional and has such a spirit, even though he isn't part of my faith you can tell that Heavenly Father is aware of him and loves him deeply.
He wants nothing more than to drop his work and go and serve people in the world.
My dad is a quality person.
I am grateful that he is my dad and I'm so happy and blessed to be his little girl.
I wish we were closer in housing but I never regret any of the conversations that we have had over the phone.
I love you dad, and I'll always be your little girl.
Thank you for who you are and the person you have helped me become and am continuing to become.
You are my hero in several different ways along with my mom and grandma Joy.
You are special, you important, and you are my father.
Of all the little kids on this earth I have you as a father and I couldn't be anymore blessed.
Thank you papa, daddio, dajo, pops, dads
I love you SO much

Love,
Your Daughter

ASTAW: A Scripture Thought A Week

2011-10-16T15:20:00.003-07:00

Today in church I had an epiphany of sorts, we were talking about how technology is an instrument and tool for spreading the gospel across the earth, or at least the world wide web. If the internet should be used for anything useful I concur with the speaker in its ability to forward the use of missionary work and bringing people to the truthfulness of the gospel. It can bring so much...JOY!

That's what my first ASTAW is going to be about: JOY

Have you ever thought about the difference between happiness and joy?
I believe that happiness is the little moments that brighten our day, like a text saying how much someone cares about you, or seeing someone do something nice for someone else, or any of the other hundreds that could fill in the blank.
While Joy is something much deeper, it is almost it's own planet, it's own emotion really.
Joy are those moments that leave an impression on our lives. Those moments where when we look back to them give us the hope that life really is worth fighting for and that the journey is always continuing.
No matter how badly we did on a test, or if our boyfriend dumps us, or if the sun hasn't shone it's beautiful face for a matter of weeks.
Joy is the sunshine in the hard moments of our lives.
Joy can come in multiple ways and I believe it is special and personal for everyone, the hard part sometimes is remembering those moments of pure joy.
When we stop and give thought to it, those moments of pure joy usually surround those times when we were surrounded by those who we love and cherish.
Don't let them go to waste.
Live for these people, give for these people.
Charity and Joy go hand in hand.
When we have Charity we have Joy and we spread it farther than we could ever comprehend, it's only a matter of taking one step out of comfort zone to "comfort" someone else.
Trust in it, Learn from it, Grow from it, and you can Live Joy.

"And for this cause ye shall have fullness of joy;
and ye shall sit down in the kingdom of my Father;
yea, your joy shall be full,
even as the Father hath given me fullness of joy;
and ye shall be even as I am,
and I am even as the Father;
and the Father and I are one;"

-3 Nephi 28:10

You can't be identified by the name inscribed on your underpants...

2011-10-16T08:24:00.006-07:00

Today was a good day:

This day started out with driving down to Provo to have eggs and potatoes with my friend Blue while watching "Coraline" to kick off, in a sense, the Halloween season for me and her.

It was epic to say the least.

Once the movie was over I jumped into my car which is adorned with all sorts of trinkets and drove down to north Provo to pick up this little chick:

Erin: It was her birthday (happy birthday dear) and her shirt is amazing, plus the face adds to the fact that she was owning turning 23!

Liesl:she came along on our little hike up past vivian park regardless of her ever growing tummy pain, we (E + Me) were glad she was there.

The fall snow that was had little over a week ago didn't kill all the colors, which was a happiness I had to capture. Plus it's quite picturesque don't you think?

Once the hiking was done I went along with Matt to go buy some ammo from Gunnies and these horrific zombie targets. We then drove halfway across Utah to get to Saratoga Springs to shoot some .22 and .45 guns. Yes, I shoot guns and I like it :) I'm pretty good at it too.

Basic training for the Apocalypse, be ready, they will look like this..

He is handsome isn't he? (Man, I love him)
Plus the image above are where MY bullets entered with his little .22 pistol which I think i'm quite the shot with... you can state your own opinion...My grandma was a good shot and so am I, got lead in my veins I doI'd rather take picture of his amazing skill and as we were walking up to this space a man yelled from the window, "Being dressed like that you two look like Bonnie and Clyde"..haha.

After shooting we decided to get some food in Lehi and then drive back to Provo, it was a magnificent day with many people I love, yummy food, and hanging out.
It was a much needed day to just relax while engaging in fun.

I went to sleep last night
Woke up and made
THIS:

Peaches and Cream:

5 spoonfuls of Vanilla Yogurt
I ripe peach cut up and thrown on top
A few drizzles of honey
1 handful of old fashioned oats

You know you wanna try this! I can't say how many times I had this while in Nauvoo, it takes me back to home like no other :)

Have a fantastic sabbath everyone, I know I will

Yippee!

2011-10-13T15:08:00.002-07:00

I have a job interview on Tuesday!!

Life is good

2011-10-12T19:22:00.003-07:00

Classes are great
I know my major
I have a love who is weird like me
I am in an awesome choir
My mom loves me
I have an awesome dad
I have wonderful friends
I know who I am
I know where I am going
Time is consistently moving at a rate I can deal with
The sun keeps shining
It warms up in the afternoon
Halloween starts holiday grandeur
I'm singing everyday
I have my scriptures
I've read 7 books in less than a month
My cat has let me snuggle with him for the past week
I have wonderful memories of Nauvoo
Did I say my friends are fantastic?
Love is great
I love seeing people get engaged and you can see they love each other (thank you facebook pics)
The leaves are still changing
I have a blanket at night
I'm caught up on all my homework
I may get above a 3.2 this semester which is awesome!
I'm going to be a teacher of little kids for my career, how cool is that?
I know what I want to do in my life!!
Money is an issue, but it has seemed to work out so far
The Lord hears my prayers
The gospel is true
and
life is wonderful
and
I'm going to be super optimistic about it,
and
I'm going to like it

Nauvoo

2011-10-10T16:10:00.004-07:00

Did I really do that?

Can I please go back?

Sigh...

I miss it so much :(

Dear...( )

2011-10-10T14:25:00.003-07:00

I liked you better when you were overweight, you weren't lying to yourself then
I liked you better when you would tell me about your life and not leave me left out because you thought I was naive.
I liked you better when you had a testimony
I liked you better when we were friends and not just acquaintances
I liked you better when you cared about my life as much as I care about yours
I liked you better when we had things in common
I liked you better when you treated yourself with respect
I liked you better when you weren't lying to me point blank
I liked you better when we were friends
I liked you better when you were comfortable in your own skin and didn't have to be someone else
I liked you better before...now I don't know who you are and it makes me sad that you may be one of the people that was only supposed to be in my life for a long period of time and then disappear.

I hope life works, I hope you are happy, I hope you are making the right decisions (even though I know you're not) I hope you live up to who you can be one day, you are amazing right now but I know there is more to you than you want to put energy into.

The easy way was never eternal happiness only temporal. I'll be here when you want to come back, like I always have been.

A Savior

2011-09-29T18:51:00.007-07:00

My spirit is on a low

I feel sickness in my bones
Ones from regret and unanswerable pride
Something to match the tears that shed when the eyes fall down
Nothing to find that conquers the self made decision
to fall
To fall by oneself and no other is a deceit against the soul
To have no other means of reciprocation but soulful terror and loss
Nothing is worth fighting for
Nothing is worth living for if you haven't a Savior
Nothing is worth accomplishing if you only use the time after to delve deeper into despair
This time was different, it was more regretful than any I have encounter since then
It was damning, it was all me
Satan didn't need to prod or pick at my thoughts
all he did was sit back and watch
He is a cunning one, slowly delving into the hearts of man
bringing out the wroth in them
Watch your every step for you will see him waiting behind every corner
Every tree, Every living thing that is good he has a second thought that can deceive
Watch your step especially the footprints
Help meld them into one by clinging to Christ and begging him
to carry you
Only then will you find true happiness and be torn and saved from the grips of hell
Only then will you find peace and joy for the son of perdition will be gone
"Leave him behind and do not look back, fear not little flock
for I will be on your right hand and on your left to lift you up
when you have been knocked down
whether it be of your own accord or the tempting of Satan,"
there is always room for a Savior, all you have to do is let me in
Let him in is as simple as taking a breath, you must take the breath to take the next step
with Him.

When life seems to hard to handle...

2011-09-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

Take after this little one

I've hit it...hard

2011-09-24T07:08:00.002-07:00

I've finally hit the "transition" period from off the mission
Where you finally "convert" from missionary to normal human being
It hurts...a lot
I was trying to hold on to Nauvoo as tight as I could, I subconsciously thought:
"If I just wear what I wore there, ate what I ate there, said what I said there...It will come back"
Have you ever heard the thought, "On a mission is the time where God has the most opportunity to get to know you." ?
That mission was amazing.
I am a released but slightly returned missionary
I have fallen back into various (grrr) practices that I wanted to be rid of
I have changed in someways but I am still...
Just Plain Brianna
and it seems that I will always be.
Real life is just hard, ya know?
and transitions rock your world upside down and backwards
....thank goodness for LDC retreat ALL DAY TODAY!

I love post

2011-09-20T15:52:00.003-07:00

I love music
I love LDC
I love sister companions
I love Nauvoo memories
I love love
I love my mom
I love outside
I love the changing colors
I love life
I love what the future will bring
I love the blue sky
I love the crisp air in the morning and warm beating down on the sun later in the day
I love country love songs
I love cute texts
I love my friends
I love my cousins
I love my family
I love wholesome movies
I love life changing institute lessons
I love devotionals
I love this church
I love this gospel
I love joy
I love happiness
I love the lessons learned from trials
I love reading a good book for homework
I actually like math ;)
I love food
I love talking for hours
I love laughing
I love kissing
I love hugging
I love holding hands
I love a boy that I've been dating for almost two years
I love quotes
I love the book of Mormon
I love the women of the scriptures and what they stood for
I love hanging out
I love giving back-scratches
I love driving up in the canyon
I love riding my bike
I love life
I love how God is in our every day lives
I love people who stand up for who they are
I love learning

I love love love life!(Looking out over Nauvoo, two days before leaving my home away from home. I learned more about myself and who I am than I ever will again.)

The important things in life start here:

2011-09-09T15:43:00.002-07:00

Move, Learn, Eat
what about life could be better? All we need is a 4th video titled "Religion or Gospel"

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

EAT from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

Nauvoo Part 2: Traveling

2011-09-08T13:12:00.002-07:00

Part 1

Well I said this blog post would be about the traveling but nothing terribly exciting happened during the time when I left Salt Lake City to the time that we arrived in Nauvoo...except...

One of the Elders didn't know I was in the stage performers
My nose was acting up so much that I could barely breathe on the plane
The humidity hit, and it hit hard. Once again nose drizzles.
We were thrown into massive amounts of music, words, and blocking.
Lugging my 50 pound bag up unnaturally made steps.
Feeling inadequate, unworthy, or unsure of why I was even there
I was mad at my voice for not working while auditioning for character parts
....I was a whiner the first week I was there (until I received a letter from a particular man)
Where I ended up shouting for joy and that was the end of my mopey streak.

Traveling, easy. Climate change, hard.

Part three: The favorites of the summer (expected to be a long post accumulated over a few days)

Nauvoo Part one: The Audition process

2011-08-20T13:47:00.005-07:00

I was released two weeks ago after serving as a missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was called to perform in Nauvoo, Illinois for three and a half months as a Young Performing missionary. This three months changed my life.

Let me start at the beginning just under a year ago. I was in a choir at the Orem institute and was approached by one of the girls who I usually didn't talk to. She told me of this opportunity in Nauvoo as a performing missionary and thought that I should take a look at it. I didn't think it was for me, but for the reason of simply, "why not?" I looked up the information and then decided to scramble around to put my DVD together, get all the paper work filled out, and send it off in only three days time seeing as the due date was November 31st...I found out 5 days prior.

I sent the DVD off to Salt Lake City and waited for a no go email and then I would move on with my life. Quite the contrary, 7 days later I received an email congratulating me on being extended the opportunity at a call back in January, just over a month away. In the email it said that there were over 230 applicants and the call backs were inviting only 40, boys and girls to the call back. I was surprised to say the least, but I told myself I had nothing to lose. So for the next month I procrastinated every possible way to practice for this call back, seeing as I had talked myself into never possibly receiving this chance.

January rolls around and I still have yet to pick a song for the call backs, I scurry around mere days before and pick "Vanilla Ice Cream" from She Loves Me which I thought would be a mighty good pick seeing as it soars up to a high B flat at the end of the song. Basically I was winging this thing because once again, I had "nothing to lose".

The callbacks arrive and I am headed up the Joseph Smith building up on temple square, 6th floor at 8 in the morning, there wasn't an ounce of traffic on the road that day and I made it up there with flying colors. I parked the car in the parking garage underneath the conference center where I saw a young man carrying a guitar. There are very few reasons why a man would be carrying a guitar on temple square, dressed nicely, and a big smile on his face. We walked in together and talked about where we were from and how we had gotten to this point. As we were riding in the elevators my mind was all a mess, "What was I doing here?" was all that was coming to my head. Thoughts of turning around or pressing the fire alarm hounded me until the doors of the elevator opened and I took a step out saying in my head, "I have nothing to lose"

Everyone was to put their stuff in a closet and go sign in at the front desk where we received our number, photo, and instructions to move into the next room where we ended up taking the first two hours of the audition process to watch all 40+ people perform their solo song.

Everyone was amazing! There were all shapes and sizes, colors, talent, levels enthusiasm, experience and more. It was more than intimidating. I didn't go till about halfway through the list of people and by that time my heart was beating fast and my nerves were about shot. But I consistently told myself, "I have nothing to lose". I stood up before the judges and was asked to say a few things about myself before starting my song. I lost myself, I forgot that I was doing it in a room large enough to fit the titanic and just sang. I did actions and felt the character like I'd had never done before, I was not myself in that moment. I soared to the top of the high B flat and was happy with my performance.

Throughout the day we had a dance audition, and a group vocal audition. I felt that I messed up horribly in the dance audition and I felt I wasn't as near enthusiastic or character-esque as I should have been in the group vocal audition. 10 hours later at the end of the day when they were talking to us about how all of us had done a great job, all I wanted to do was book it to the car and cry. Yep, me cry. I didn't even listen to half of the things they were saying because I knew that I hadn't done the best I could have, I know I was more capable, but they wouldn't see that. One thing that I do remember Elder Camp the stage director saying, "We don't pick the YPM's (Young Performing Missionaries), the Lord does. If you are supposed to be there, you will be there. If you are there, you are supposed to learn something. We may not choose the best singers, the best performers, the best dancers, we will choose who He wants us to choose" Let's just say that after he finished speaking and let us all go, I ran to the car, and didn't talk to a single person on the way out. I could feel the tears welling up and they streamed all the way home. I felt I had lost an opportunity that would have changed my life.

One day later: We were told that if we were accepted that we would receive a phone call the following night around 7pm and if we weren't accepted that we would receive an email. I was waiting for the email all day but it didn't come... 6pm rolled around and still nothing. 6:30...6:45...6:50...6:55...6:59 RING!!!!! RING!!!!! My phone gets a call that is unknown, I quickly say to myself, "No way..." I answer the phone and say hello. On the other side is the voice of Elder Camp saying, "Hello Sister Pettit" My heart jumped inside, I was going to Nauvoo! I never thought about going to Nauvoo or even serving a mission. I was going to be a missionary, a missionary!!!! I was to leave on May 5, 2011 and my service would start May 6, 2011-August 18,2011. I was excited, scared, frightened, happy, wow'ed, screaming, crying, laughing, joyous, uncertain, hopeful, and all other expressions.

......Part two to come soon.....
Traveling to Nauvoo

Nauvoo mission address :) :) :)

2011-05-05T05:16:00.003-07:00

Dear everyone I love, friend and family,
I know it's a little early to be giving out this information but it's on my mind and I don't want to forget to do so.
I have been called to embark on a 4 month service mission to Nauvoo, Illinois starting May 6 - August 16. I will be serving the Lord as a Nauvoo Performing Missionary. I will be performing in 5 shows/ 6 days a week in period clothing in the heat and humidity. Here is my mission address if you would like to write me some letters telling me about all the fun things you're doing this summer or just drop a hello (cause I will miss you while having loads of fun) .I would LOVE to hear from anyone who is willing to sit down and write a few lines and I will do my best to write back :) and since I will be a missionary, I have rules to follow: so no Facebook for me :)

If you have time to write me a letter or send a package, please send it to one of these two addresses:

YPM Sister PettitP.O. Box 215
Nauvoo, Illinois 62354

(for packages if you feel so obliged to send me a little treat or pick me up)

YPM Sister Pettit
975 Young Street
Nauvoo, IL 62354

I am very excited to have this opportunity; to share my testimony through performance. Maybe you'll stop by for a visit! Nauvoo is an incredible city, filled with history of the Latter-day saints and fun!
I love you all and I hope your summer is fantastic!!
Write me :)

Keep the Faith
Build the Kingdom
- Brianna (soon to be) Sister Pettit

p.s. I have also set up an email just for family members. You all can write to it but make sure to leave your home address seeing as i'm only allowed to respond to family.

email: sisterpettit@gmail.com

Nauvoo in 5 days...

2011-05-01T07:35:00.003-07:00

I have SO much to do before I leave, pair that with LDC tour...

Am I ready? No

Am I prepared? No

Will time continue to move forward even though I've procrastinated getting ready?

Unfortunately So

Will I be there in less than a week? Yes

Will the Lord provide a way? Yes

So what do I have to worry about?

A: Lack of sleep :)

A: An overload on wonderful spiritual experiences while singing my testimony through song..

Now THAT is NOT a bad thing.

Who needs sleep anyway

11 days

2011-04-25T16:48:00.005-07:00

I feel spiritually low.

I don't understand why people can't respect what I believe when I try my best not to force my religion on them.

I don't see why people have to fight, call each other names, and rag on each other's beliefs. It doesn't do anyone, any good. I don't see why we can't just take each other as people and not force opinions or have to be right.

I think if people want to know, they will seek it out. That's what missionary work is; God preparing those people and the missionaries being there when the person's soul is seeking for the truth.

If the person doesn't want to hear it then they won't hear it.

No matter how many scriptures you throw at them.

No matter how many times you pray for them.

No matter how many times you wish they could see your side clearly.

If they don't want to hear it...they won't.

They will try and find every last lie and try to make it into a right.

Religion is based on faith people, you can't decipher if a religion is true or not by mortal means. You have to search and learn with your heart, you have to learn with your soul.

If God, my Heavenly Father, in heaven doesn't reveal it unto you then you are not prepared for it. You don't want to hear it.

If you want to hear it, you would seek it out.

D:C 4:7 "Ask and ye SHALL receive; knock and it shall be OPENED unto you."

I hate being knocked down because of my beliefs. I live in a free country but it still feels as though religion is still being oppressed. When will we ever get a chance to express ourselves freely without repercussions like other religions. Why do people want to put down my faith so much. It is who I am. I'm not going to argue when you aren't going to listen to me. It doesn't make me high and mighty, it just makes me a peace maker. I don't need to prove anything to you when you don't have an open heart to what I am saying.

I am Brianna Jean Pettit. I was born in Colorado and moved to Utah when I was younger. I have one younger brother. I am a singer, dreamer, lover, and member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know this gospel to be true. I know that Christ died for me. I have a testimony and nothing anyone says can change the way I feel about my faith. I know that I have a father who is in heaven, looking out for me and my family. I know that I am on this earth for a purpose and that purpose continues beyond the grave. I know Joseph Smith was an imperfect man, who had a question, who saw God and the Father, and was DIRECTED by God to bring about the restoration of the gospel. He knew what he saw and he could not deny it, even down to his murder. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet, the only man on this earth to speak with God and receive direction for this whole church that spreads to every corner of the earth. There is light in a sometimes dark and unsure world. That light is Christ and it lies with in each of us. I know all of this to be true and I would die for it. I love this gospel and the person it has helped become, even though I am imperfect and will be always while on this earth. I know that I will be with my family forever, with Christ and with MY Father in heaven.

I am a Latter-day Saint and will always be so.

So have you ever wondered (??) about me? A-Z

2011-04-13T07:33:00.003-07:00

Here are a few things you may or may not know about me, but I thought it would be a fun thing to let you know a few things using the alphabet as my guide.

Age: 22

Bed size: Twin

Chore you hate: Doing my hair. Someday's when I know my hair needs to be wash I would rather run 2 miles around up hill both ways than jump in the shower and have to dry my hair.

Dreams: See the northern lights, ride in a hot air balloon, read lots of books

Essential start of your day: Sunshine and bodily food, usually oatmeal

Favorite color: Sea Green

Gold or silver: Silver.

Height: 5'2"

Instruments I play (or have played): Piano, Guitar, Spoons ;)

Job title: Student, Life pursuer, Sister, Daughter

Kids: I have none...hope to someday. But I think my kitty kat counts

Live: Orem, UT

Mom's name: Tamara

Nickname: Bri, Briannajean, Poopana, BJ, Skeezit, Blackjack, Bananabutt

Overnight hospital stays: Hmm not since I was born

Pet peeve: People not trying new things (at least) once, Being late, People whining about things over and over.

Quote from a movie: "Oh, it's not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel."

Right or left handed: Righty tighty.

Siblings: Oldest of Two. Brother and I.

Time you wake up: Depends on the day. But usually between 7:30-8:00am

Underwear: Yes. There were moments in my life where I have experienced "commando". No go, my friend.

Vegetables you dislike: I like most vegetables, not whole tomatoes though. Yuck.

What makes you run late: Being lazy, reading instead of getting ready, dancing in my room

X-rays you've had done: Teeth, Collar Bone, 4 Fingers, Pinky Toe, Wrist

Yummy food you make: Hamburger Noodle Soup, Turkey/Cream Cheese Sandwich (mmm)

Zoo animal: Siberian Tiger, Penguins

So I know this isn't part of the game initially but i'm going to ask a few friends to do this little adventure. I would like to know more about them even if they didn't about me :)

So I tag: Liesl, Erin, Ashleigh, and Georgina :)

24 days until Nauvoo...

2011-04-12T22:33:00.002-07:00

Do I feel:

Spiritually ready? NO

Financially ready? NO

Emotionally ready? NO

..............why am I doing this?

anyone know why?.............

BBC Big Read

2011-04-11T09:16:00.003-07:00

I have decided that I want to read all the books on the BBC 100 Best-loved novels. It may take me a few years, but it will be done. I have wanted to read these books for awhile, so now I want to take the plunge, start and one day finish everyone of these books. So here's to 100 books (I'll have a tab at the top to mark my progress, I have however read some of the books already, so i'll mark those off :)) Ok....

THE LIST!!!

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher

51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

Singing, Choir, Loving people

2011-04-10T07:28:00.003-07:00

...are the crutch to days where life is less than awesome. Where life is feeling a bit down, and the smiling faces and singing brings the happiness back in your soul. They have the ability to make it seem like the sun in shining even though there is 3 inches of snow on the ground. I love LDC. I love singing, I love the spirit of the Lord, and the opportunity I have to socialize with these wonderful people in LDC. My goodness, I am blessed.

Come see our show!!! Get tickets HERE, they are FREEEEEEE! :)

22 years

2011-04-09T06:55:00.003-07:00

Have I changed in that amount of time? Have I become a better person? Am I striving for greatness. As a result of last night's events, No. I feel old, now don't get on my heels and say, "You're not old, you have so much more to live, grow, explore, and learn."...Ok, Yes I understand this. But if any of you have been through the transition of 21 to 22 there is a colossal difference between turning 21 to 22 then there is from 20 to 21. I don't know what it is but it feels as if I've just passed a bump of my life I never thought I would reach. (Next one should be 30....shudder)

"I don't wanna grow up I'm a toysRus..." old person. That's not how the song goes. I've reached my limit for being able to sing that song and for it to apply to me, at least physically. I can sing that song about my emotional or mental state but frankly it isn't the same.

Last night I was talking to Matt and telling him about my worries of getting older. About moving from daughter to mother one day. (Not in the near future mind you, gotta get a husband first) But it gave me a slight panic attack. I'm not going to be the one that can tell my parents my troubles and expect them to have an answer...I'm going to have to be that person someday. The one with the answers. The one taking care of God's children...if I even deserve them. Frankly, I feel like dirt. I feel impatient and disobedient. If you don't think about it, it will go away. Right? ....Right? Anybody?

I feel even though a full year has passed since I turned 21 that I haven't changed. I have some of the same issues in my life, i'm still a student, i'm still dishonest and disrespectful to people. I'm rude, arrogant, a silly girl. And I feel on a daily basis that I am unworthy to go on this Nauvoo mission or performance or whatever you want to call it. Whether you say it is any of those things or not it is a mission for the Lord...my God. And I feel like I've let him down already. I feel as though these last three months when I should have been preparing more fully have been spent in idling pursuits. Silly isn't it? I guess the root of this whole rant, rave, feel sorry for myself...is Nauvoo. I want to be prepared for it...why in the heck does He want me to go. I feel so inadequate compared to others going. They are MUCH more talented. MUCH more pretty. They have that glow of Christ that I'm sure I lost a long time ago. They are MUCH more spiritually prepared, and worthy. MUCH more musically inclined and MUCH more personable.

We had a little dinner and get together....I hardly talked to anyone because I felt as though I had to fight for attention...I didn't need to do that. I just listened and talked and thought about how fun the summer would be where I couldn't get a word in edge wise and probably not make friends with anyone because i'm one of the only one's who hasn't had a lead part in a show...I've only and will ever only be in the ensemble. Which is fine by me. It's less than a month before we leave and I feel anything but prepared to go...

Here's to another year and making plans, creating goals, losing them along the way and getting even older.

My April Fools Day Experience

2011-04-02T14:57:00.007-07:00

THE CONTENDERS!!!!

Preface: Until this point I would leave my keys in my unlocked car in the little pocket in the car door....I will never do such a thing again.

THAT MORNING!

Promptly at 8:00 am in the morning I came across these messages on my car window.

Ominous no?

Let's say I knew who it was from, the person telling me 2 weeks previous that she was planning on pranking me on this fateful day. A day which I hate because I am one thing: Gullible.

Side note: Bro. Eggett sent out a horrible text saying that he was asked to open a new institute down in Arizona and that we would be getting a new choir director before our conference shows (will tell about later) and tour. Let's say none of us in choir were happy when we found it was hoax, some weren't even going to show up to the devotional in which we were singing in. (I did have that thought for a moment, but pushed through it to find him there, laughing, as we all walked in sulking and mad...I wanted to punch the man...but I didn't) But this connects with the prank Ashleigh pulled. While I was at this devotional little missy Ashleigh stole my car and left her's in my place with this message adoring her windows...So she wanted me to sulk into the school and ask nicely for my keys back...dear Ashleigh:I decided to saran wrapped her car...so much with the help of my good friends Shelby and Sarah.We THEN went into the school to give her keys back and she still hadn't seen her car even after she had moved mine a 2nd time because we had taken so long to come to the school she thought we were plotting something...whahahahah!! I played the, "I got pranked and really didn't get you back" face, really really well!!!

Roughly a hour and a half later I received a call from this little prankster telling me that she came out and was informed by the office ladies that she needed to be scared. She didn't know why...until she saw her car.After the fact she called her accomplice of a teacher...and told her she needed help cutting through all the saran wrap. The whole escapade made her late for work...was it worth it? Yes, quite. Revenge is sweet sometimes especially when the person had no idea she was going to get pranked back. Pure brilliance.

So, the prankster pranked but got pranked in the end.The moral of the story: Don't leave your "enemy" the keys to your car.

Other moral of the story: I actually lock my car doors and carry my keys with me so this little adventure won't happen again.

Love

2011-03-23T07:17:00.004-07:00

In LDC we are doing a The Family: A Proclamation to the World show and there is going to be a 10 min doohickie of just love songs and I realized that when he said that at least 15 songs jumped in my head.

I love, love songs.

I just love them. I love the way they make you feel, I love the ability they have to make you think of the one you do love and the happiness that was put into writing those songs.

So these are my favorite love songs.

Love, love, love, love.

Come What May
***
Marry Me
***
Everything
***
We Belong Together
***
With or Without You
***
Kiss Me
***
Everything I Do, I Do It For You
***
The Only Exception
***

Whether you're in a relationship, or just in many different friendships with others love songs remind us how wonderful if and how things happen for a reason, life keeps moving forward. We make goals and we keep striving for them, sometimes we don't know how life will turn out but we know that love is a real thing, it exists. You will find it if you haven't, everyone will have the opportunity to love and be loved.

Do you have any favorite love songs?

2 Nephi 9:39 - Get it Right

2011-03-18T18:38:00.006-07:00

"O, my beloved brethren , remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal ."

Sometimes these scriptures pop up a time too late. After you've already offended the Holy God above. After you already feel like crap and already have the uncomprehending feelings of regret for what you've done. Where you feel lower than dirt, where you feel unworthy to partake in anything that surrounds your life. That you aren't worthy for the love that he has to give you.

Will I ever, "Get it Right"

(Play the music while you read the rest)

I don't watch Glee anymore because it's been getting pretty sketching pertaining to quality and storyline as a whole. But I do look up the songs sung every week and this one song came up. It is an original song that a Glee writer wrote or someone. Regardless of who wrote it, it speaks and rings true to what I feel when I make stupid mistakes that could have been avoided, but instead I forget the consequences, I forget what is important. I forget to remember what is on the line; my future life. My future family, and myself integrity and self worth. I'm worth something, I'm worth everything to a being who is so much more than I and I'm glad that he is the one running my life...and if I listen to what he is saying he'll lead me in the right direction and give me strength to resist the temptation that Satan loves to play with. I'm a daughter of God, my loving Heavenly Father, I am not a daughter of Satan. I am good and true to what I say. One day i'll get it right, I don't know when that will be, but I know that if I put my trust in Him, it will work.

(Pictures aren't supposed to make you cry...but this one strikes a chord in my heart)

"How many times will it take for me to get it right?"

"Can I start again? With my faith shaken?

Do give every person a chance to prove themselves?

2011-03-17T17:39:00.001-07:00

Happy St. Patty's Day

2011-03-17T09:53:00.008-07:00

I woke up today and slipped on my green sun dress. Sun dress, those are two lovely words that usually have an accompanying friend named the sun. This lovely, warm, attractive entity is my friend and I have missed him through the months of cold winter and skiwampus weather that has plagued my life and messed with my emotions. I think I have a minor case of seasonal depression, very slight. I think everyone can say they feel the effects when their absorption of vitamin D is cut in half because of the frozen balls of rain that cover the earth. But not today on this wonderful day of green, clovers, and sparkling cider.

Are you wearing green? If not, watch out!

This morning I jumped my brother...he wasn't wearing green so I pinched him butt, arm, and leg a few times before he threw on a green shirt that he isn't even wearing now. But I am a gracious sister so I will not pinch him for the remainder of the day. I think he learned himself a lesson.

PI = 3.14159265

2011-03-14T16:53:00.003-07:00

Pi day: A glorious day to have pie with your mom

Math never tasted SOOOO good.

Happy numbers (PI) day!

Sorry for the negative...

2011-03-12T09:12:00.005-07:00

I have one day a month where all my emotions are askew and I would rather die than face the day ahead of me. Call it a moment of depression or anything in between. Regardless of what you end up calling it, it sucks, I hate this feeling. It hasn't happened for a few months and just yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks...every time one of these emotionally draining train wrecks occurs I seem to spend the whole time loathing about everything wrong with me. I tend to looks to towards the bad and complete dismiss all good that is happening. Basically I feel as though I haven't tried hard enough.

I am not any farther in life than I was a good year ago. I feel like i'm losing time or wasting it like I waste my money. I'm impulsive, I don't think things through until I'm halfway in and I can't take what I said back or give it back or want to give it back. I'm in a continuous circle of regret. A circle for hurting people. A circle for not working hard enough. A circle for sorry's. A circle for loss of money. A circle for trying to help others but I really can never do anything for them. A circle for treating people ill when they deserve so much better. I hate feeling like this.

I feel down and out, I know the feeling will go away but boy does Satan take advantage of my weakened emotional state and take the opportunity two hand hold and pull to show me all my faults at once. It's overwhelming and not fair. But what about life is fair? Absolutely nothing. But that's what it's called life and in the long run it's going to be ok.

Moments

2011-02-24T10:05:00.005-07:00

I love this song now: Love it.

We all have moments in our lives.

Moments of excitement

Moments of sadness
Moments of pure bliss
Moments of heartache
Moments of days in the sun
Moments of dancing in the rain
Moments of letting go
Moments of realizing what is right
Moments of realizing what is wrong
Moments of forgetting the pain
Moments of laughter
Moments of strength
Moments of weakness
Moments where life is better than your dreams

As we remember "those" moments that define who we are, we come realize the love we have for ourselves and the opportunity to keep those moments coming, so one day we can look back and see how far we have fallen, gotten back up, and continued on to amazing and great things.I'm not sure why I'm being so reflective today. But if someone looks like they need a hug or a smile or just a, "hello" then go out of your way and do those things. You more than likely will change how the person's day has been going or even their outlook on life.

Girlfriends...

2011-02-23T22:28:00.001-07:00

What the heck would we do without them?

World Issues

2011-02-22T13:46:00.004-07:00

Today in all my classes there have been made mention of the issues that plague the United States, and the world. Some areas of the globe are being hit with massive earthquakes, uprooting the daily lives a thousands of people. Others are trying to tear down governments, some have succeeded and many are losing lives and will be unable to see the outcome of the bloodshed. Rape and child abuse was the topic in my life-span development class, there is so much that people can do, but we don't step up to the plate even when there is a suggestion to what is happening because there isn't enough, "evidence". No wonder we as a people don't trust one another! We can't trust that people will be there when we put ourselves on the line and ask for help. Or tell someone we need help and have them as our advocate to get something done. When we put ourselves out there someone tries to break us down or fight against what is right because they want to see that life is honkey dorey and that nothing is wrong if it has "nothing to do with you".

If you live on this earth, if you live in your community, if you care about someone whether it be a friend or family member...it is your business.

I feel that we as a society have lost the idea of what is important or what is right and humane. I, myself, get lost in what is good in life and forget about what is happening over seas. Where people aren't able to eat, drink, sleep, or work for themselves. We are spoiled and don't realize the good that we can do but by remembering that we are all human, we are all important, and we all have families, lives, hopes, dreams, and want a better life...we could maybe make a difference in the world and not see it slowly go (or more quickly now) down to pot.

We need to care more about each other.

We need to live for each other.

We need to do all we can with the tools and abilities we are given.

It sucks when reality slaps you in the face and throws you to the ground because you feel you haven't done jack squat to help anyone ...

Day 30 a photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past

2011-02-15T20:46:00.007-07:00

Well here we are ladies and gents, we made it to the final day of the:
30 days blog challenge! Can you believe it?!?!

I can't.

1. I have never blogged so much in my life

2. I probably won't blog about anything for the next 30 days (that's a lie)

3. It was fun while it lasted but I'm sure you're sick of hearing about the things that make up my life or things that really don't apply to myself at all.

BUT! It is a blog...with my name on it. So of course it's going to be about me.

I still have to finish this last blog post (in the 30 day challenge)

*Photo of myself today (check)

3 good things that have happened in the past:

1. I am alive, I am healthy (always been)

2. I still have the same friends that I had while I was growing up and I hope that never changes.

3. I was blessed with the love of music and have gotten to share it in more instances than I would ever dreamed of being able to. I love music and the power and courage it can bring into people's lives.

So there we go. It is finished.

If you want to take a look back at this little adventure I took go ahead and click HERE and start from the beginning and maybe even start your own 30 blog challenge!

(This 30 day blog challenge has given me the courage to re-vamp the blog)

-BriannaJean

Day 29 something that you could never get tired of doing

2011-02-15T20:45:00.013-07:00

Taking crazy/silly pictures is a favorite, favorite past-time of mine :)

It can happen at anytime, any place, and with ANYONE...

Beware.

Getting locked out of my Apartment

The "one" ring

Mirandasings

Rain does this to people

Rollercoasters are a fear of mine

Never knew recycling Jane Austen could be to exciting

Peewee?

It's hard to cross my eyes

Gapping mouths for the pie we were going to attempt to eat

Too. Much. Sun.

THAT is how you play Leap-Frog

This is normally how our faces look.

I will have very odd wrinkles when I get older. Yes, yes I will.

Day 28 your favorite music

2011-02-15T20:45:00.009-07:00

I can't believe it's asking me to pick between my favorite music.

I have many, many, many love so this is really hard.

Probably the hardest thing, because I love so many different types of music.

But I will try my best to not bore you to death but show you the type of person I am through music.

(Just click the title to be taken to a video for the song)

"Only the Young" - Brandon Flowers

"Love the Way you Lie" (Mash-up) - Sam Tsui

"Starlight" - Muse

"Falling for You" - Colbie Calliat

"Everytime we Touch" - Cascada

"Better Together" - Jack Johnson

"Anyway You Want It" - Journey

"I'll Be" - Edwin McCain

"Happily Ever After" - He is We

"All I Ask of You" - Phantom of the Opera (This will exemplify all Broadway songs I love)

"Oh, is it love" - Hellogoodbye

"Rhythm of Love" - Plain White T's

"Love Story meets Viva La Vida" - Jon Schmidt

"You Got Me" - Colbie Calliat

"She's Gonna Find Me Here" - Melee

"River Flows in You" - Yiruma

"Just a Dream" - Nelly

"Nearer My God to Thee" - Orem Institute of Religion"

"Hey Soul Sister" - Train

"What Love Really Means" - JJ Heller

Those are only a handful of my favorites...Or current favorites.

My choice of song varies as the days and weeks go on :)

You can tell a lot about a person from the music they listen to...

What do you think about me?

Day 27 a picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

2011-02-15T10:10:00.003-07:00

This theme of today has been on my mind all day.

It has been the bane of my existence today.

I have given time to think about what has changed about me in the past year..

is it bad to say that I don't feel like I've changed very much at all?

That's bad.

Because I have changed...I think.

Physically: I've lost 10 pounds in the last year. It is true that fat weighs less than muscle.

Emotionally: I still am not happy where I am, but am happy with bounds I have taken.
Spiritually: My testimony has grown.

And today I'm making goals everyday from now on and making bounds towards the future.

Today was a wonderful day, especially in LDC. I love that choir and all that happens in there.

Day 26 a photo of somewhere you've been too

2011-02-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

I love the crepes
I love the people
I love the sights
I love the sounds
I love the smells
I love the food
I love the memories

Day 25 what's in your purse?

2011-02-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

I rarely take a purse with me anywhere.

But when I do I usually have:

* My money's

* Camera

*Phone

* Lip-balm

I have never been one to have a large bag as big as the upper-half of my body or have crazy purses in general. I just usually carry my wallet and my phone in my peacoat pocket. Because usually when I have my purse I am on a mission to buy something.

Day 24 a photo of something that means a lot to you

2011-02-12T10:08:00.002-07:00

I love these girls

Rauni and I had the opportunity to do baptisms and Ashleigh and Jamie (soon-to-be) sister missionaries did endowment sessions.

We ate at the pie and just had a great day.

Day 23 15 facts about you

2011-02-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

1. I am short, and have an eye color that no one else does

2. I love music, I love singing, I love losing myself in the music

3. I love food, cooking, preparing, sharing

4. I love to give thoughts especially when I know it's worth while

5. I am accident prone

6. I love to be crazy, and act childish in a way of forgetting about the worries of the world and just dance crazy, laugh loud, and re-enact the "old" days

7. I want to one day run a marathon

8. I love kissing, hugging, smelling, touching, loving, eating, playing, running, dancing, doodling, and learning

9. I am horrible at thinking about 15 facts about myself

10. I am hungry

Time to eat.

Day 22 a letter to someone who has hurt you recently

2011-02-10T10:07:00.004-07:00

I have not recently been hurt but I have recently hurt.

Dear.....

I have been listening to a book on Cd by Elder Neal A. Maxwell called, "All these things shall give thee experience" and it has really opened my ears, eyes, my soul to the reasons why we are are asked or pushed to experience certain trials. Some are of our own making and others are placed in by our Heavenly Father for our growth. The ones that give us the most grief in life though are those that are ones that are made by decisions we make. I can attest this by the situation I find myself in and how I have hurt someone. By my actions I caused pain, uncertainty and many other emotions. I have done this countless times to people that I love. We all makes mistakes and it is the hardest thing to do in life to ask for forgiveness from someone you have hurt.

A quote from the book on Cd that I heard last night was this, "He (Heavenly Father) even indicated that some of the weaknesses and infirmities given to us can actually become a strength to us. It is in our weakness in [the] extremity [that] Gods power [is] fully felt. Only when of ourselves we are helpless is his help truly appreciated."

I have weaknesses. I know what they are, and i'm working on them. And the gospel is the prominent thing in my life now and will continue to be. It's at the forefront of my mind and will not likely go away. I am helpless but He is helping me everyday. I can feel of His love for me and for the bounds I am making.

I'm sorry for the hurt. I'm sorry for the uncertainty . I will always love you. Even though my actions may suggest otherwise. You are my best friend, confidant, and mean more to me than the things of this world.

I am sorry from the deepest reaches of my heart

Love Brianna

Frogger

2011-02-10T09:45:00.004-07:00

I came to school too early today and decided instead of heading home and not getting a single thing done, I would scale the 6 flights of stairs up to the top level of the library grab two chairs; one for my feet and the other for me bum and get to reading of the chapter that I would be quizzed on at 1pm this afternoon.

As I situated myself I got to listening to my good and old friend Pandora, they had a "suggestive" station that was a love station, and in the time of Valentine's Day around the corner I thought I would take a listen. I chose a Pop station, because I like Pop. I like the consistent beats that most, if not all, the songs have underneath all the other instruments strumming away. Over the course of the hour I was taken back to high school with songs that were huge at those dances us girls would takes hours upon hours to get ready for, for that special guy. Among them:

"The Reason" - Hoobastank

"Kiss me" - Sixpence none the richer

"You're still the one" - Shania Twain

"I'm yours" - Jason Mraz

"Follow me" - Uncle Kracker

"I don't want to miss a thing" - Aerosmith

"Hey there delilah" - Plain white T's

"Wonderwall" - Oasis

"I'll Be" - Edwin McCain

"Better Together" - Jack Johnson

Now the last one is what sparked this little random post. Jack Johnson's songs are very repetitive and if you strung them all together you probably would have a song that was 2 1/2 hours long because his timing doesn't change. But his lyrics are magical. They have a way of getting me to think and to take a moment out of the busy and the crowded thoughts to stop. In that moment of thinking I looked out the huge 2 story windows that I am sitting in front of and looked down on the parking spaces that people were winding in and out of. Behind that is the freeway, the cars going 75 miles per hour or more were in stark contrast to those moving slowly or even at a complete stop waiting for someone to pull out so they could pull in and rush to their class that they are now late for because of waiting 10 mins for that stinking parking spot.

Moral of this is that the parking lot and freeway reminded me of the game, "Frogger".

I was have expecting a large green frog to come jumping across the cement looking for a free log to jump to next and on the prowl for his next huge fly.

You know people don't always have to be profound :)

Day 21 a photo of something that makes you happy

2011-02-08T07:29:00.015-07:00

I'm going to take the reigns and turn this post into a few or more photos of something that makes me happy. So very happy.

Most of them, if not all involving the people in my life.

*************************************************************************************

Running out in the rain when it starts and getting drenched with someone you adore.

Jumping photos.

Being a dork with these two.

Laughing.

Lots and lots of laughing.

Staring people down while singing.

No really, I love singing even though I sometimes look like i'm in pain.

To an extent drama/theater people make me happy. Especially when we all understand what corsets and very large hoop skirts feel like. We more or less bond together.

Holding Hands.

My grandma Joy. My mother has saved a birthday song that was sung to me by this dear little lady when I was turning 19. It made me tear up last night when my mom put it up to my ear.

I'm so happy that I have these pictures to remember the good times, keep them in the fore front of my mind and keep moving forward to continue making these wonderful, fun, and loving memories.

What makes you happy?

Day 20 the meaning behind your blog name

2011-02-07T16:13:00.002-07:00

I feel as though my blog name is how my mind works, how it puts sentences or thoughts together. My whole life is like a patchwork quilt there have been squares that are the good times and then pieces that i'm still sewing together. There are also squares that I would much rather take out, start over, and replace with a new one but it wouldn't be me then would it.

Along with the squares I would want to take out, I've hurt someone terribly these last couple days.

And I've made a, "I'm Sorry" square, it's rather large in my head with frayed edges and letters oozing down the fabric. This square is meant for one person. You know who you are, if you even read this anymore. I'm so very sorry for hurting you.

"How did a nice girl like me get into a mess like this?

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

2011-02-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

Somethings we all need to remember, especially myself.

1. Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks.

2. The covenants with God to which you are true enable you to become enlightened by him, and nothing is impossible for you.

3. When you are physical sick, tired, or in despair, steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them in gratitude and love towards God.

4. In your life there have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God, and therefore make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take.

5. First and foremost you are spirit child of God. If you neglect to feed your spirit, you will reap unhappiness. Don’t permit anything to detract you from this awareness.

6. You cannot communicate with God unless you have first sacrificed your self-oriented natural man and have brought yourself into the lower levels of meekness, to become acceptable for the Light of Christ.

7. Put all frustrations, hurt feelings and grumblings into the perspective of your eternal hope. Light will flow into your soul.

8. Pause to ponder the suffering Christ felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the awareness of the depth of gratitude for him, you appreciate every opportunity to show your love for him by diligently serving in his Church.

9. God knows that you are not perfect. As you suffer about your imperfections, he will give you comfort and suggestions of where to improve.

10. God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that he makes to us--- everything will fall into its place.

11. Avoid any fear like your worst enemy, but magnify your fear about the consequences of sin.

12. When you cannot love someone, look into that person’s eyes long enough to find the hidden rudiments of the child of God in him (her).

13. Never judge anyone. When you accept this, you will be freed. In the case of your own children or subordinates, where you have the responsibility to judge, help them to become their own judges.

14. If someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive and you will be free again.

15. Avoid at all cost any pessimistic, negative, or criticizing thoughts. If you cannot cut them out, they will do you harm.

16. On the road toward salvation, let questions arise but never doubts. If something is wrong, God will give you clarity but never doubts.

17. Avoid rush and haste and uncontrolled words. Divine light develops in place of peace and quiet. Be aware of that as you enter places of worship.

18. Be not so much concerned about what you do, but what you do with all your heart, might, and strength. In thoroughness is satisfaction.

19. You want to be good and to do good? That is commendable. But the greatest achievement that can be reached in our lives is to be under the complete influence of the Holy Ghost. Then he will teach us what is really good and necessary to do.

20. The pain of sacrifice last only one moment. It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it.

21. Be grateful for every opportunity to serve. It helps you more than those you serve.

22. When you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better.

Thus, we prepare all the days of our lives, and, as we grow, death loses its sting, hell loses its power, and we look forward to that day with anticipation of joy that he will come in his glory.

Day 19 another picture of yourself

2011-02-06T19:30:00.005-07:00

Do you ever get the feeling that you ruined your whole life...or whole future or someone else's?

Do you ever wish you could take something you said back?

Do you ever wish that you could take the hurt away?

Yeah, me too.

Day 18 something you crave a lot

2011-02-05T10:22:00.002-07:00

Nutella on toast

Day 17 a photo of you and your family

2011-02-04T11:52:00.003-07:00

Well in a way I have two families, so I'll try and find an appropriate picture for both.

Mommy's:

Daddy's:

I lovers them all.

I love them immensely.

Day 16 you celebrity crush

2011-02-03T10:10:00.002-07:00

Eric Bana is my celebrity crush

He is so sweet when he acts and just look at those big puppy dog brown eyes!

He may be 2x my age (exactly) but he is handsome as can be. And a girl can dream and guawk at the T.V. a few times while watching, "The time travelers wife" or " The other Boleyn girl".

Day 15 something you don't leave the house without

2011-02-02T10:10:00.002-07:00

My cell phone.

Anyone that you ask will say I'm a bit obsessed with the thing.

Especially texting.

Don't go judging.

Day 14 a TV show you're currently addicted to

2011-02-02T10:04:00.002-07:00

This one has been a hard thing to think up.

I haven't been watching real tv for awhile.

BUT!

When I was watching TV I was addicted to: say yes to the dress on TLC.

Here's a little peak at what I can watch for 3 hours at a time.

Oh the drama of finding the "perfect" dress!!!!

Also I have been catching "The Office" on netflix with Matt recently.

I love the pranks that Jim does to Dwight.

They are very silly, and make me laugh to the high heavens and back.

Here is one of my favorite opening scenes from the office.

How can you make it all the way through this without laughing!!! HAHA!

Addiction, yes.

Day 13 your favorite musician and why?

2011-02-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

So I know that i'm posting this a day late...seeing as I've been a bit busy with school, work, and just life. But here I go catching up...posting two in one day.

My favorite musician...Do I even have one? Curious.

Well seeing as I can't think of a favorite I will go with the one that I have been listening to their songs intently over the past few days especially one called, "Marry Me" by Train. I love Train's feel good songs that just make you happy and bring that little ray of sunshine into some days where it seems only gray skies above. "Hey, soul sister" is one of my absolute favs and it reminds me of warmer times in the year seeing as we are in a 25 below weather warning for dear old Utah. Brrrr.

So here are both songs for your enjoyment:)

First one: Marry Me

And the second one: Hey, Soul Sister

I love the little cartoon walking up and down the sidewalk. Love it love.

Which I could re-create it, but I can't...So I will continue to watch Train's music videos :)

Day 12 a photograph of the town you live in

2011-01-30T20:21:00.004-07:00

Welcome to Orem, Utah

We have an abundance of Green Jello, mountains and peaches :)

Day 11 what's in your makeup bag?

2011-01-29T10:10:00.002-07:00

Eyeliner

Mascara (2) for double the length

Mary Kay sunshimmer eyeshadow

It kind all lies on my desk (that I never use for homework) anyway.

I don't have very much at all.

I wish I had more, I knew how to use it better.

Especially the smoky eye look, but no luck for me.

Anyone wanna teach me how?

Day 10 a photo of your favorite place to eat

2011-01-28T23:16:00.004-07:00

I would like to start out by saying that I.Love.Food.

So this day 10 challenge is, in fact, a challenge for me.

I love all sorts of food but for the sake of time and my sanity I will narrow it down to

two....no....three. Yep Three.

Cheap-o place to eat that I love:

Middle Class, kind of more expensive than previous place to eat:

mmmm. Meat.

And the last is the most expensive by far and I usually get to go it with my papa on my birthday...sometimes. I've only been a few times but I love it to death.

If you like fondue (which I do) and enjoy a 4 course meal with you and a special someone...mmmmm this place is for you. Yummy. But definitely don't forget your pocketbook, meals for two cost roughly 70-95 dollars. Lovely.

Day 9 a photo of something you last purchased

2011-01-27T11:50:00.006-07:00

To find the last thing I purchased, I turned to my checkbook.

I wish I could say it was a dress.

I wish I could say it was a book.

I wish I could say it was the last know star that I named for myself.

I wish I could say it was a plane ticket to Fiji.

I wish I could say it was a new sister for Mushu.

I wish I could say it was anything but food,

But no...it was the king of foods!

(At least for a poor college student budget in Utah County)

I bought...

A CAFE RIO PORK BURRITO ENCHILADA STYLE!

Can everyone just say in sync, "Mmmmmmmmmmm"

Don't judge me on this monster of a meal. It was amazing.

...and yes, I did finish it. MMMM.

Day 8 a song to match your mood

2011-01-27T00:27:00.002-07:00

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Day 7 your dream wedding

2011-01-26T23:54:00.004-07:00

To be honest I haven't really thought about this one in very much depth. Plus when I was 15 or so in Young Women's we made an engagement time capsule to be opened on the day we get engaged, should have all the answers hahah plus Seeing as that hasn't happened yet and I have no idea what is in that little box, I will try to create MY dream wedding... Ok ok maybe I HAVE thought about it....a little :)

But to start, let's start with the day.

I would like my wedding to take place in April, May, June, or July. Why do you ask? No, not because everyone else gets married in those months because 1. they are either spring or summer 2. which means good weather 3. Outside reception (no cultural hall) and a dance floor like this :)

My new husband I definitely would have a first dance or two or three on this awesome dance floor, boogie all night long.

I would love to have a full course meal before the dancing and other things (but on a utah budget one can only dream) And we would eat something yummy, like this.

Every girl has to have an awesome, the bomb.com wedding ring for the big "dream wedding" day. So if I had vast amount of money (which I do, seeing as it's a dream wedding) I would have this ring or something along the lines of it! Oh Verragio, the rings you come up with are to die for, gives me chills just looking at this set :)

Drool much? Yeah, me too :)

- My dress? hard one. hmmm

I like this dress but I'm not sure it will be THE dress when the day comes along but I love the red ribbon. yay color. But yea you get the gist of what I'm going for and that what I need you to see. So next point: Colors?

Colors will either be: Red and Yellow. Or Blue and Silver Or Green and Blue

Just some odd combinations and hopefully I would get some bridesmaid dresses that rock the socks off what you see normally...like this:

Cake: Oh man the cake will be the best part!!!!

I love the one on the right so pay attention to that one. I would like that with red velvet cake in the middle. AWESOME!!!!!! I love the drizzling of chocolate down the sides and I'm a HUGE fan of roses.

And to have a wonderful wedding video made about my spouse and I. Kinda like this!

What else is there to the wedding? Hmm well. The Groom...and lots and lots of happiness :)

OH! And I almost forgot the place where I want to get married. That one has been an easy one to answer ever since I was a little girl.

Right Here:

Being married in the temple is non-negotiable.

So in the end I feel like my dream wedding is pretty practical (what do you think?) ...so maybe it is what I want and really hope for or just a fools dream of an idealistic girl. haha. Either way it was fun to find the pictures and stuff. What girl doesn't like imagining her wedding, come on :) Favorite past-time of mine.

Day 6 a photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet

2011-01-25T10:29:00.006-07:00

How can you not love this little guy?

Seriously.

He is little, cute, cute, and little.

I may have an infatuation with little things.

I say, "Ah...it's so cute" a lot in my daily life.

I'm proud of it and I want to carry this little guy around, have him lay on my lap and just be cute until the day he grows old and I buy another one.

OHHHHHHHH! He's cute.

Day 5 a photo of yourself two years ago

2011-01-24T10:24:00.001-07:00

My hair was shorter

My jacket was newer

I still had those awesome shoes

I was dating someone else

I was less mature and lost spiritually

I had insecurities, and self doubt

It's surprising the changes that have taken place yet:

Two years is a long time, why does it seem only like yesterday?

Day 4 your favorite photograph of your best friend

2011-01-23T16:53:00.007-07:00

This was is a bit difficult seeing as I have like 5 or 7 (thanks ashleigh)best friends. Really I do. So I'm going to give a little ode to them all. Ready? ok!

Veraunica (Rauni) Stauffer

Known: 18 years

Laurie (da bomb) Hite

Known: 18 years

Madelyn (blue) Whitlock

Known: 16 years

Matthew Anson Call

Known: 4 years (feels longer)

Ashleigh and Shelby Simmons

Ash known: since birth! Shelby known: 19 years

Tammy (Mommy) Pettit

Known: since she birthed me

I lovers her

Day 3 your idea of the perfect first date

2011-01-22T07:30:00.014-07:00

As I was thinking about the theme for today's post I was taking a look down memory lane, trying to remember if any of my first dates were the "perfect first date". And I was taken back to about three years ago, after I had graduated, to a date that I was taken on that was one of the most fun and unexpected dates I've been on.

Perfect date wants:

Good company
Dancing (if you like the guy)
Lots of talking
Memories that you would like to write down

The date I went on about three years ago was the homecoming dance the year after I graduated at Orem High. Matt Call (Good company) had called me on the phone (I know silly, but I liked him so I didn't care) and asked me if I would like to go with him. Inside I was flipping out. On the outside I was playing it cool and playing hard to get (us girls and our mind games) The dance was on a Saturday night so we figured out times and such and we hung up.
I had to figure out what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair, this was the last hoorah for high school and I was going with a guy I had wanted to date since I met him at the beginning of senior year. I called up my friend Blue and she helped with my hair, it turned out a little bit like Belle's hairstyle in Beauty and the Beast, but more updated.
Saturday night came and promptly around 5pm Matt shows up to my house in his grandfathers suit from the 40's or 50's (it was so cool).

If you wanted a visual here you go:

He gave me a beautiful corsage and we headed to China Lily in Orem to meet up with the rest of the group. We ate some dinner (Lots of talking) and then proceeded to the dance that was being held at Orem High.
We saw some friends that were in the grade beneath us and we talked a bit but mostly stayed in our little group of super seniors!
Matt and I would always dance the slow dance together (Dancing (if you like the guy)...(which I did) and as the night continued on we would get a little bit closer and a little bit closer (haven't you girls ever gone on a date and the guy smells amazing? looks amazing? and is just amazing? Where you don't want the night to end? THAT: was this date) when the dance came to an end for the life of me I can't remember what we did...I think we have just taken everyone's dates home..he took me separately in his car. (Memories that you would like to write down) He walked me up to the door and we talked a little bit (I looked into those eyes and I wanted to kiss him right then and there, but, "what would he think of me" ..."would we still be able to friends if he didn't kiss me back"..."would his current girlfriend come hunt me down"..."dang he looks good" ... all these things were running through my head as it went quiet, the moon was out and there were no cars around. I could have easily just leaned forward and smacked him square on the lips right then and there...Did I? Did I?

No....too impulsive sadly :(

I said,"My mom is probably waiting for me, so I have to go"

.....Really Brianna?.....
LLLAAAMMMEEE! (lame)
So besides my little "scared" moment this was and is my perfect date. It fit all my wants and fulfilled all of my needs. And if I wasn't a pansy I could have gotten my first kiss ever with a guy that I had liked for a year or so and we clicked.

Well let's just say: Thank goodness for second chances ;)

but that's a story for another time.

So my perfect first date was with the guy i'm dating now. Woot. He did a pretty darn good patootin good job:) haha. Best. Date. Ever.

Day 2 a photo of something you ate today

2011-01-21T14:33:00.002-07:00

My breakfast pretty much everyday of the week is Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal :)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Day 1 a photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

2011-01-20T09:54:00.010-07:00

PICTURE

Today

I didn't get to sleep till 2am so my day started before I even went to sleep. :)

OFFICIAL DAY!

Start: 7:45 after sleeping in from my alarm clock which went off at 6:30

Social Work class at 8:30 - we got into groups and discussed ethical issues, my group got sexual harassment...yay.

I have a two hour break between Social Work and LDC so I called up my papa in Colorado and talked to him for a little bit. It was a nice conversation.
LDC we were learning a new song that has Swahili and Spanish sections and we were trying to get the rhythm down. It was taking a bit of time but now I have 1-ta-te-ta, 2-ta-te-ta, 3-ta-te-ta ...and 1-la-li, 2-la-li, 3-la-li...stuck in my head.
Afterwards a friend of mine invited me over to make a chocolate cake, for kicks whilst watching/catching up on the last two seasons of The Office! (love it)

5:15-Zumba down at BYU, and with friend in tow.

Food preparation: pasta, beans and bacon, and another piece of chocolate cake.

Talking with friends roommate about girls and how hard dating is.

Driving home in the cold and staring in awe at the moon above in the heavens before I walked into my house and checked if my mother was home from school.

Got into my PJ's.

Sat down at my computer to finish this post.

Happy Day 1

30 Day Blog Challenge!

2011-01-20T01:40:00.002-07:00

It seems natural to jump on the bandwagon with everyone else doing the "30 Day Blog Challenge." I think this will give me some new insight to my life and to have you guys (whoever reads) be able to see me in a different and maybe not so boring life...seeing as a lot of these suggestions for the next 30 days include pictures!!! So, tomorrow (which is today, seeing as I am blogging at 1:42 am January 20, 2011) I will start my 30 day blogging extravaganza. I hope you tune in for the next 30 days to see what I come up with, comment, and maybe try it out yourself : )

Day 1 a photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

Day 2 a photo of something you ate today

Day 3 your idea of the perfect first date

Day 4 your favorite photograph of your best friend

Day 5 a photo of yourself two years ago

Day 6 a photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet

Day 7 your dream wedding

Day 8 a song to match your mood

Day 9 a photo of something you last purchased

Day 10 a photo of your favorite place to eat

Day 11 what's in your makeup bag?

Day 12 a photograph of the town you live in

Day 13 your favorite musician and why?

Day 14 a TV show you're currently addicted to

Day 15 something you don't leave the house without

Day 16 you celebrity crush

Day 17 a photo of you and your family

Day 18 something you crave a lot

Day 19 another picture of yourself

Day 20 the meaning behind your blog name

Day 21 a phot of something that makes you happy

Day 22 a letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 23 15 facts about you

Day 24 a photo of something that means a lot to you

Day 25 what's in your purse?

Day 26 a photo of somewhere you've been too

Day 27 a picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

Day 28 your favorite music

Day 29 something that you could never get tired of doing

Day 30 a photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past

Auditions

2011-01-16T16:31:00.006-07:00

Time seems to stop and have no meaning while you're waiting to hear if you got something or not.

Thursday already

2011-01-06T09:57:00.001-07:00

I've already been in classes for a full two days now. Wow, it seems like it has been a week at least. I LOVE all my classes, they are wonderful family ridden classes. I love it. Especially my marriage and family relationships class. One of my text book titles, "How to NOT fall in love with a jerk." hmm. good title I think. I probably would have bought that book not for a textbook if I ever saw it on the shelf. But now I have to go BEG my statistics for behavioral science to let me into the class.....

Winter Semester...

2011-01-05T08:36:00.006-07:00

has begun.
I have 9 credits as of right now, I need 12-13 by the end of the day.
I really wish that I was going to BYU...because...
1. Religion classes COUNT towards credits and GPA
2. There is a certain boy I would like to be there with...(sigh)
BUT alas, I did not work hard enough in high school so here is my kick in the pants for not being able to go to BYU. Sad day. My own fault, no one else's.
(Even though I sometimes feel that the ACT had a major conspiracy against me)
But, there are a lot of good things that could happen this semester, even if going to BYU is excluded from the mix, I have an array of awesome marriage/family/psych classes which I am so stinking exciting for. And I am working and preparing for a little audition I have next Saturday...bum bum bum (That was supposed to sound creepy, but came off as kinda of lame, I apologize)
Anyway, Off to school
Start of a new semester
I would say that life is going too good right now...
Life is practically better than my dreams, and I can imagine it will only get better.

New Year, New Me

2010-12-30T11:18:00.004-07:00

With the new year coming in a short two days it's hard not to think about the past year. Where I have been, Who I have been, and What I did. The Good, the Bad, the Ugly. The lists of things I planned on doing and never finishing, and lists of things I wanted to accomplish and surprised myself by finishing. The planned, the spontaneous, etc. I have come to realize that I am not a very organized person. I go with flow, I live each day as it's own moment. I don't look too far into the future, I never have. But I contemplate and spend more than I should thinking about the past, reliving the past, wishing I didn't do things, or wishing I did. I have too many "What if's" in my life that I sometime forget about the good that is happening in my life at the present moment. These moments that will soon be past, that I will soon relive in my mind. Why then would I make these moments, the moments of the present, anything but great? (I think I just found my theme for the coming year)

Food for thought...in the past year:
How many breaths you've taken?
How many steps you've taken?
How many hours you've spent driving?
How many songs you've listened to?
How many times you've listened to certain song?
How many movies you've watched?
How many words you've read?
How many pieces of gum you've chewed?
How many texts you've sent?
How many hours you've spent at school?
How many times you've blinked?
How much money you've spent?
How many times you've brushed your teeth?
How many hours you've slept sleeping?
How many times you've said, "Hi"?
How many miles you've driven?
How many people you've met?
and most important:
How many lives you've have changed?

This coming year I want to be a different person. I don't want to be defined by things that have happened in this year of 2010. I know everyone says, "This new year is going to be THE BEST YEAR EVER) ...that works for about the month of January, maybe a few days into February. I don't expect it to be the best year ever. But I would like to think that I will have the most growth in this coming year, in many ways. I want to grow spiritually. Get closer to my heavenly father and quite possibly have an amazing spiritual experience in Nauvoo this coming summer. I just have to prove that I want it.

I want this year to be a time of secular learning, letting go of the past, getting on the road (and staying) to become who I'm supposed to be. This idealistic person I have in my mindset.

A new year brings about new beginnings.

I think that's why we get one every 365 days.

It gives us a moment to re-evaluate our lives, to see how we are doing in all aspects.

It gives us a chance to scrap the bad, and bring in the good.

Throw away the trash of the past.

An opportunity to move forward, start anew.

So for the coming year, try your best to make it your best.

If you get down and days are not ideal, find the good and focus on that.

Anything that is good, comes from God.

If we have a focus on Him, no matter what happens in the coming year will be for our good.

Our growth.

Our eternal progression.

So to everyone, I love you. And good luck in the coming year. Be HAPPY it's a NEW YEAR! 2011 is another year that we are all blessed to have. Live everyday as if it was your first...live everyday. Period. Don't waste a moment in regret, depression, or longing for what could have been. See the future, the bright light that it is and run to it :)

I'm going to try and do the same thing!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

People getting married, getting married

2010-12-25T14:23:00.008-07:00

In the past week 4 friends of mine of either gotten engaged or hitched, one including an ex boyfriend of mine. People say it would be weird to hear of an ex getting engaged, I didn't believe them...now I do.

It's weird to think that you and this person had something "special" at one time on another and then you hear of them planning on spending the rest of their life with someone else. Someone, more than likely, will have some of the same pet names, do some of the same activities, kissing, hugging, enjoying each other's company just as you did. When you were dating them. Am I so crazy to think that's a little weird? (I know some smartypants pants is going to come along and say in their head, "Well did you really expect him to just swoon over you, never letting go since you guys broke up and still wish you were together, and regret that he ever let you go?") Well Yes! Duh! .....Joke. No. Really, I don't think that, but it's still feels like that person has a part of you, they always will. You gave them secrets, you went through ups and downs and all arounds with them. Good memories, and bad memories. You gave a little piece of your heart away.

And you'll never get it back.

Well that was a little soap boxy (boxie? boxen?) now wasn't it?

I woke up this morning with marriage on the brain (as you can tell) and this little saying was, sprawled on the wall of the room I was in--- in my dream. It said, "Hope, Charity, Love, and Patience are the foundations of a good marriage." I think I just had a profound moment.

(Me! Profound!)

And so I wrote it down and I think whenever the dickens I get married that I will try to live those 4 little words. As I hear stories of what married people go through I start to think those 4 little words may be very helpful in the years to come, whenever marriage does come around.

"Marriage is the greatest happiness here on earth" - Brother Eggett

Hope: "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." If you don't have hope which can also be associated with faith then getting very far in life will be extremely difficult especially when you are trying to do it on your own. And when was the last time you looked back at a trial and realized it has made you a better person, a better version of you.( I have started to notice these things myself..it's ok you're not the only one ) God knows what he is doing.

Charity: "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that when ye are in service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." Self explanatory.

Love: "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give our love, and let it come in." This morning I went to go visit my grandmother and as I was walking out the door she said something along the lines of, "Love yourself, take care of yourself. Because you are the only one that will love you as much as you love yourself." I took it to heart, if we don't love ourselves and see the beauty that is on the inside and outside we will never truly be able to love others. Even though it's hard at times to see the masterpiece we are, we must try.

Patience: "God always teaches us patience, when we do not have time for the lesson." If we do not have patience with those around us then we cannot see past what is the issue and see that people are not perfect, people make mistakes. Everyone has a past, but everyone is yearning and planning for a better future. Nothing can be done alone. And there is always someone there to give us a helping hand.

What it boils down to is Christ. Christ is what we need to center our lives around. Our single lives, our married lives, our young family lives, grown up families, work place lives, retired lives , and into the eternities. Whenever it happens for me and whenever it happens for you, if we want marriage to work we must have God central in that union. That's the only way it will work.

(What a shpeal this has been huh?)

He is Hope. He is Charity. He is Love. He is Patience.

Christ is everywhere, Christ is in this season and he is throughout the whole year, we sometimes have to go searching for him, because we are the ones who have turned and walked the other way for a time, but he is always there...in the same spot waiting for us.. (NieNie says it really well right HERE: if you're feeling down about something you've done or are at a time in life that seems less than satisfactory) I'm beginning to realize how much of an affect he has on this world, this tiny globe that we call home.

In the spirit of the season, Merry Christmas to one and all. Remember Christ the Lord and the Love, and everything He has done for us. It truly is Amazing Grace!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

A Christmas Carol

2010-12-06T22:40:00.005-07:00

As many of you may know I am in the Hale Center Theater in Orem's production of, "A Christmas Carol" I am a soprano in the choir and loving it! Plus I get a huge hoop skirt dress (beauitful!) so i'm going to do a little (COME SEE MY SHOW!!) shpeal...yes that is a word.

So in short: Come see this show, or you will be haunted by three ghosts! Jk. Or you can just come see it because you know i'm in it! You can buy tickets HERE. (Go on, click it)

The show is already 93% sold out!

December 1 - 23

More specifically I am in the M,W,F cast...BUT even MORE specifically here are the days in which I will be playing : 8, 11(8:00pm), 13, 20-23 (every showing) Hope to see you there!

Dear Friend

2010-12-06T14:04:00.002-07:00

I wanted to take a moment to apologize for everything...I wish this was different and I wish certain things hadn't transpired. I wish that I was a different person when we came together. I was not the ideal for you, especially so fresh off your journey. You needed so much better but I ended up helping knocking you down a few pegs and bringing you to a place you never should have experienced. I hope that someday I may be able to reconcile with you. Now as you're trying to regain your footing please know and remember this apology for me being a hindrance and in some ways a devil's advocate. I know I am responsible for the pain and grief you now bear in more ways than one. I hope that in the future in any way I could help you, you'll let me. . I am so sorry. You mean the world and more to me, but I have failed to really show that to you. I'm sorry my dear friend. I'm sorry for letting you down.

Sincerely with Love,

Brianna

"Baby you can start again.

Laughing in the open air; have yourself another dream.

Tonight.

Maybe we can start again."

Just like my blog title

2010-11-28T09:09:00.004-07:00

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

It takes courage to not be selfish

It takes courage to stand up to what isn't right

It takes courage to continue fighting for something you know is right

It takes courage to climb a hurtle, no matter what it is

It takes courage to say what you need to say

It takes courage to be who you want to be

And It takes courage to do what YOU feel is right, when everything else is raging against you, when life seems to be too easy and a bump in the road is thrown into the mix, when life seems hopeless from a stupid choice, when you wake up and realize the thing you've done, when you know life will be ok, when you know that everything will turn out for the best, when you know that it IS all worth fighting for.

THAT is when we start to grow up and become who we really are, and by that time we notice that we've been scared the whole time but we haven't taken a moment to let ourselves realize. THAT is the true change of heart, and that is what can move mountains, split oceans, and create wonderful moments no one would ever care to forget.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are...it takes courage to continue on after somethings got you down. But in the end, it is SO worth it.

Unexpected Tears

2010-11-24T21:22:00.004-07:00

This is a story about LDC I fear that I may talk about it too much; either through messaging, talking, facebook, etc. But it and the experiences that happen within LDC have been my rock for the past little while so I cannot not talk about it.

Tuesday in LDC I was scheduled to give a devotional at the beginning of class before we started working on music. I had everything prepared, scripture ready, personal story, and musical selection I was to sing before the class. I was prepared for sure, or so I thought. I got up in front of the class took a deep breath and dove right into to what I wanted to say it went a little something like this:

"I feel in someways I have walked int he same path as Alma the Younger. For sometime I didn't necessarily reject the gospel. but I fought against in my mind. I would always ask questions, bes satisfied with the answer given for but a moment. The next day I would continue on in life not actin on what was told me before. I was wading through the river of life. I was taking the "easy" way, or so I thought. Things happen in everyone's lives, we make decisions we regret, we make decisions that we don't regret yet we say to ourselves, "what was I thinking?" The past few years have been some of the most trying times in my life spiritually. I look back now and am flabbergasted that I am standing here today taller spiritually. Even though at times I didn't want to talk with God because I felt unworthy and unfit, even though I don't always do all I should, even though I make stupid decisions sometimes not thinking before acting, "I know that time brings change and change takes time." Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always there just as they were for Alma the Younger. They never will leave our side. ---I have a scripture I want to read from Mosiah 27:28-29...

"Nevertheless, after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God. My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity, I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."

I broke down at the end of the verse, I was flooded with emotion; my heart was racing and I just couldn't stop crying. I don't cry, I have never cried when I have felt the spirit but this time was different. It was odd and I wasn't sure how to deal with it so I just continued the best I could. The accompanist started playing and I squeaked out the words to the song. I tried my best to sing through my sobs, I tried to covey the message of the song, the best I could. I felt an overwhelming joy, I felt a new and I felt like everything was going to be OK in my life. I felt the spirit more than I have in a very long time, it is a feeling that I will not soon forget, if EVER forget. I took me by surprise, cause if you know me, you know that I don't cry when I feel the spirit. ---This time was definitely different, and if the devotional was for anyone it was for me. It was so incredible for me personally that I don't have words to even give justice to what I felt. Sure, I felt a bit silly for sobbing in front of 60 people who I see everyday, but I think it was worth, at least to me. I needed to feel that, and I know the Lord wanted me to feel it and that is all that matters.

This is the song I sang for the Devotional, it is one that I fell upon in high school, a dear friend sent it to me. It is a song that has gotten me through many long and lonely nights crying to myself and talking with God about my life and how I would get through the present trial. It is very dear to my heart, pay particular attention to the words, they are wonderful.

(River God)

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone
rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

CHORUS:
But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild
sometimes swollen high
never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of you
is where I want to stay
and feel the sharpest edges wash away

I want to paint

2010-11-20T13:48:00.003-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling a bit fat, because I hadn't been excersising or running in the past week so I decided that I was going to go workout at curves. I got all dressed and ready for the gym, stepped outside looked up at the clouds and stopped dead in my tracks.

There was the one of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen in awhile.

Little blurp: I love this time of the year, there is something going on up the atmosphere on this earth that makes the sunset so dang beautiful, every year during this time. It is quite magical.

As I was saying, I stopped in my tracks looked up and beheld a gorgeous piece of work that God had given me to look at. The oranges, yellows, a splash of pink and some purples thrown in there too. I decided NOT to go workout at curves, I decided to go on a run up 400 south so that I could stare at this sunset for whatever time was remaining. So I began my run and forgot about everything else in the world besides this sunset. I ran to Glee's version of "Singing in the Rain/Umbrella" for some reason it seemed to fit and I had slight want of a sudden rainstorm to start (but sadly nothing happened) The sunset slowly faded away, taking with it the gorgeous rays of the sun, brings in the rolling clouds and dark night.

Oh, and I want to start painting, why must it be so much money!

Hey pretty lady

2010-11-12T18:46:00.005-07:00

I'm answering a friend's question: What are you grateful for?

Sadly, I don't think about this question very often. I go through the motions of life expecting or wanting more than I have, rarely taking time to sit down and count my blessings and really contemplate what I AM thankful for. So let me indulge for this little moment in the things that I am grateful for.

Starting out: I am grateful for my life. I'll be honest some days I loathe my life, I hate what is happening and I ask the question, "Why me?" but there are those days when everything is wonderful. Like today for instance, which leads into the next thing that I am grateful for LDC. Latter-day Celebration choir at the institute. I love it. At the beginning of the year Bro. Eggett was talking with the choir and said that some people that were let into the choir, the choir needed. Others, like myself, needed the choir. Everyday is a spiritual experience, there are moments when I can't believe that the spirit filled the room as it just did. This morning the choir woke up at 5, met at the institute at 5:40 to drive down to Salem, UT to sing to some early morning high school students. When we got there we surrounded the kids and we sang our songs, as always the spirit was there, we sounded wonderful and there were just moments where you could tell and KNOW that this gospel is true. Which the the next thing I am thankful for.

I am grateful for The gospel of Jesus Christ. I have never ever been one with my own testimony, for years I would always bounce around, listen to others and base mine off of what others would say. But recently (since I got into LDC) I have wanted to really find out the answers to these questions. So I have been reading, praying, and trying to listen as closely as I could to the spirit. The change in my heart has been astounding. I can recognize the spirit at the drop of a hat, I get confirmation to questions in class while we are singing. And I now have a testimony of the restored gospel and of Joseph Smith. I KNOW that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. I don't know how I know, but I know. And it is the first time in my life that I can type of say that without feeling the regret of, "maybe I don't know..." I'm grateful that the Lord was and is still patient with me in everyday of my life. I'm not perfect and I'm not doing all that I should every hour of everyday, but I'm trying. I am grateful I have the ability and coherence to try.

I am grateful for my friends namely: Veraunica, Ashleigh, Shelby, Blue, Erin, Liesl, and all others who except me for who I am. Where I can sing loudly in the car and they won't stare at me like i'm crazy...(well maybe the will, but we cool like that) They will quote movies with me, cry with me, give me advice when I don't know where to turn. And love me no matter the decisions I make and help me to be better. I need to let them know how much they mean to me, I don't know if I let them know enough. Thanks guys. I am grateful for my mom and her smile every day, her worries about me, her want to help in anyway she can, and I'm SO grateful for her cooking skills. mmm

I am grateful for the little small beauties that God gives us. The sun shining through the clouds, the majestic mountain landscape we get to take in everyday, the cool night air and the stars above. I am so grateful for the beauty of the earth. I am grateful for opportunities to have those quiet moments just to sit and ponder and learn about yourself. I am grateful for trials, they make us grow. I have seen the good that comes from them even if I don't see it until later down the road. I am grateful for so many things that I could go on for hours. But I will stop here.

It's crazy to think of how much we take for granted, once you start counting your blessings and realizing how much you are grateful for you realize just how fantastic your life really is.

What are you grateful for?

Just some wishes

2010-11-08T18:01:00.002-07:00

Let's get real:

I want to have more money

I want to be more confident

I want to get married

I want to have a place of my own

I want to have a family of my own

I want to right wrongs

I want to have continuous sunshine

I want to have warm rain

I want to sing loudly without complaint

I want to go to BYU

I want to be graduated

I want to be sure about the future

I want to have a second chance

I want to be known

I want to be uncontrolled

I want to be sure

I want to make decisions on a whim

I want to eat without worrying about calories

I want to cook a 7 course meal

I want to kiss underneath the stars

I want to wish upon the moon

I want to lay in a pile of fall colored leaves giggling at life and it's fun features

I want to cry the pain away

I want to breathe in the cold air

I want to be the person i've always wanted to be

I want to share my testimony

I want to be there for my friends, like they've been there for me

I want to be someone people will remember

I want to have lasting relationships

I want to make a difference in someone's life

I want to remember the good days

I want to learn from the bad

I want to find something i'm passionate about

I want to live each day as if it were my last

I'm expanding my music and I fell upon this

2010-11-07T08:33:00.001-07:00